Royalty
What does it mean to be a princess?
By K. Lorraine
______________________________________
A thanks to Tera (author of Lights of Deling and FFVIII The Return), for encouraging me to write this story. This story is dedicated to you, little sister.
This is a story about what would have happened if the real princess Garnet never died so that Sarah (the girl we know as Garnet in FF9) was never forced to take her place as princess of Alexandria. As we all know, Garnet from FF9 was not Queen Brahne's natural daughter. Queen Brahne's real daughter Garnet died at the age of 6 and Garnet (Sarah) was taken from her deceased mother to take the princess' place because Garnet (Sarah) looked a lot like the dead princess.
______________________________________
Part
1 - Alexandria
Zidane Tribal felt a rush of relief as he
saw her lying there on the floor, fast asleep, her hair in a black mess around
her. For a moment she looked peaceful, too peaceful, in a serene contentment
reserved only for the dead. But no, he would not allow himself to think such
thoughts. Zidane bent down and stroked her forehead. Warm. Still alive.
“Can you wake her?” Freya asked, her
knobby hands wringing in anticipation as she glanced toward the door of the
dungeon waiting for the next guard to come stumbling in.
“Dagger.” Vivi whimpered as he too
dropped to his knees beside Zidane who had began to pull the princess into his
tender arms.
“What did Brahne do to her?” Freya
asked shaking her head in disgust. “To her own daughter. . . “ Freya
muttered and trailed off.
It was at those words when the girl in
Zidane’s arms began to stir. Her lips parted and she uttered a small moan.
“Dagger.” Zidane began as his eyes
opened wide in surprise. “Dagger are you alright?”
To his surprise, she shoved him roughly
and fell out of his arms. The girl stumbled to her feet as she warded Zidane
off with both hands. Her eyes looked suspiciously from Freya to Vivi and
finally to the mysterious boy whose look of surprise had changed to hurt.
“Who are you?” She asked in a cracked
voice. “I have no more Eidolons left in my body. I am no more of a use to
you fiends.”
“Eidolins?” Zidane asked, perfectly
perplexed. “Garnet what are you saying?”
Before she could answer, Steiner rushed
in, his face red from a recent battle. His features bursted out in glee as he
caught sight of the dark haired girl.
“Princess Garnet! You’re safe.”
But before Steiner could reach her, Zidane
grabbed him by his arm.
“That’s not Garnet.” Zidane stated
in a careful voice keeping his eyes on her.
Zidane left his three shocked friends and
approached the frightened girl
“I won’t hurt you.” He promised as
he gently took her gloved hand.
“Who are you?” She asked as she
allowed herself to be led from the wall she had been backing into. “What do
you want?”
“We’re going to get you out of here.
What’s your name?”
“Sarah.” She responded carefully.
“My name is Zidane Tribal. Nice to meet
you, Sarah.”
_________________________________________
With their new recruit, the group of five
made their way up the winding steps of the dungeons of Alexandria castle.
“The queen would never harm the
princess.” Steiner muttered in empty self assurance “I knew she wasn’t
the princess the moment I saw her.”
“Don’t listen to him.” Zidane
promised the girl who was stumbling along weakly. “Rusty doesn’t always
mind his manners.”
“You little-“ Steiner began before
Vivi jumped and pointed to the open door. There stood Beatrix with her Save
the Queen held ready at her side.
“Beatrix!” Steiner exclaimed in
surprise.
“Prepare to die, traitor.” Beatrix
replied in a hard voice. “I have orders from the queen to take back your
head.”
However, before Beatrix could begin her
deadly attack, Zidane cut in.
“But what about the orders from your
princess?”
“What do you mean?” Beatrix asked
impatiently.
“We are here to rescue the princess
Garnet. What about your sworn duty to protect the princess?”
Beatrix looked at Zidane for a moment with
a ice hard glance. However, she stepped aside and allowed the group of five
out of the dungeon and into the room where Queen Brahne stood.
Brahne took one look at Sarah who stood
warily beside Zidane and burst into malicious laughter.
“Sewer rat.” Brahne remarked at the
girl before turning her glance to a furious Zidane. “I suppose you two
belong together.”
“Where is the princess?” Zidane stated
tritely.
“Your majesty.” Steiner began in a
weak respectful tone. “Please don’t harm the princess.”
“Harm Garnet?” Brahne asked in a
feigned look of innocence. “I never intended anything of the sort. Come
Garnet, these rats would like to have a final look upon you before they
die.”
To the gang of four’s surprise, Princess
Garnet stepped out from behind the curtain. Only Sarah looked upon the scene
without shock. Garnet looked on
her four friends without an ounce of affection.
“Garnet!” Zidane finally broke out,
trying his best still to believe that this was not what it appeared to be.
“Stay back, thief.” The princess
responded. “I know you not.”
With that, Zidane’s face was crushed.
She had killed him without ever drawing a weapon.
“Steiner.” Garnet stated. “I order
you to eliminate these traitors.”
Steiner stared at her in complete shock
unable to believe the order he had been given. Even Beatrix’s unwavering
loyal expression was replaced with one of pity.
“Princess.” Steiner answered. “I beg
you to reconsider. He did save your life.”
“My daughter’s life?” Brahne
answered. “The royal family would not tolerate such a disgrace as to have
the life of one of their own saved by a peasant. What you have just uttered is
blasphemy, Steiner.”
“I understand.” Steiner responded as
he turned to his former friends. He stared at them with apologetic eyes,
unable to decide what to do. His loyalty was sworn to a villain, a damnable
smiling villain. He could not betray his title of knighthood to truly be a
knight.
“Steiner.” Beatrix whispered too
softly for anyone to hear.
But it was already too late. Steiner
squeezed his eyes shut and swung his sword blindly about the area where Zidane,
Vivi, Freya and Sarah had formerly occupied. In her disarray, Sarah fell to
the floor and laid directly underneath the large man’s sword.
“Sarah watch out!” Freya cried out.
Her voice broke Zidane out of the trance Garnet’s response had put him in.
“Steiner! You idiot, you’re going to
hurt someone.” Zidane exclaimed.
However, he had hardly finished speaking
when a bolt of lightening fell from the sky and knocked Steiner off his feet.
Queen Brahne’s eyes opened wide in anger
as she realized that the pitiful summoner girl still possessed Ramuh.
“Seize her!” Brahme yelled to her
remaining guards. “I want that Eidolon!”
Beatrix broke out of her confusion as she
stepped in front of Sarah.
“Run. I’ll hold them.” She said
indifferently, concealing her new realization.
“Thank you.” Zidane answered sincerely
as he grabbed Sarah and ran back into the dungeon with her and his remaining
friends.
“You’ll have to fight me to get to
them.” Beatrix told the Alexandrian guards who rushed up to their former
general.
“I’m going back to help her.” Freya
told Vivi and Zidane as they emerged at the bottom of the winding stairwell.
“The princess and the queen are both treacherous villains. But Beatrix
certainly has another side.”
Unwillingly, Zidane agreed.
______________________________________
“Was she important to you?” Sarah asked Zidane gently as they sat
in the carriage in their escape to Treno.
Zidane shrugged as he looked away, more
silent than he had been in a long time.
“I thought she was my friend.”
“She has a role to play, Zidane.”
Sarah responded as she twisted a strand of her long hair in between her
fingers. “She can’t let her heart interfere with her kingdom.”
“I know that.” Zidane responded in a
hard tone. “I just . . .” He shook his head in turmoil and closed his
large eyes momentarily.
“I know. You just wish that it didn’t
have to be this way.”
Silence.
“Vivi.” Sarah began. “Where are we
headed?”
“Treno.” Vivi responded quietly.
“Treno.” Sarah said with a quiet
smile. “I can’t wait to see the architecture there.”
Part
2 - Madain Sari
“So this is the sanctuary.” Sarah said
as she and Zidane stepped into the peaceful forest. Zidane rubbed his cheek
and glanced to the ravishing girl that stood apart from him in silent
nostalgia.
“Darling, about that kiss,” he began
but only left her chuckling bitterly.
“Your thoughts dwell on Princess Garnet.
You don’t have to pretend to like me, Zidane.” She studied him as he
smiled sheepishly in embarrassment and therefore - with his gestures -
confirmed her words. At that moment, despite her resolution to make protecting
her people her sole aim, she could not help but wish to cover up her
summoner’s horn and to be Garnet for him. It was true that Garnet had an
obligation to her people to play the role of the princess, yet Sarah could not
understand how she could betray her own heart and reject the man who obviously
gave her the most beautiful and rare species of unconditional love.
Yet who was she to judge the actions of
royalty? She was simply an ordinary peasant girl and he was an ordinary
peasant boy. They had both out stepped their bounds.
“You made it.” Zidane announced as he
caught sight of Quina and Vivi entering the forest. The awkward silence was
broken. However, before they could regroup, Quina suddenly broken into a mad
frenzy of hungry lust as s/he caught sight of a small fluttering moogle.
A cry for help was suddenly overheard from
the distance. It took Sarah only a second to recognize the sound of the shrill
little voice.
“Eiko!” Sarah exclaimed as she broke
into a run. She could do little good for the small girl hanging dangerously
off the pinnacle of a nearby cliff.
“Sarah!” The tiny child hollered as
she flailed her limbs helplessly in mid-air. “Sarah! Help me!”
Yet before Sarah could answer in her
complete petrifaction, a voice beside her answered for her.
“Jump!” Zidane called out. “I’ll
catch you.”
“No!” Eiko responded. “I’ll be a
squished pancake.”
“Zidane.” Vivi muttered. “You are
sure . ..”
“Do it.” Sarah suddenly cut in.
“Trust him, Eiko.”
There was silence for a split second as
Eiko stared indecisively into Zidane’s eyes. However, her decision was made
for her as Quina suddenly jumped up and down, knocking a few rocks loose from
the boulder holding her up. Eiko fell from the ledge and narrowly missed
careening into the gorge as Zidane caught her by her wrist. He pulled her back
up onto the soggy forest ground easily.
“You’re my hero!” Eiko exclaimed as
soon as she caught her breath. She embraced Zidane once before she turned her
attention back to Sarah.
“I’m so glad you are alright.” Sarah
muttered breathlessly as she bent down to look Eiko directly in the face.
“What were you doing here anyway? Didn’t I tell you to stay home until I
got back?”
“Sarah, you were gone for so long. I was
worried that you were never coming back. I was so lonely.” Eiko responded
with tears welling up her large blue eyes. “I missed you so much.”
“It’s okay.” Sarah responded as she
hugged Eiko to her bosom. “I’m back now. You’re not alone anymore.”
_________________________________________________
“So when are you two getting married?”
Eiko asked Zidane as they entered the ruins of Madain Sari. Zidane looked down
at the earnest face of the tiny summoner’s girl. She gave him a wide smile
showing him her mouth of pearly teeth.
“I always thought Sarah deserved a
knight on a white horse but I guess you’ll do.”
“Sarah is your sister isn’t she?”
Zidane asked her tenderly.
“Sarah is everything to me.” Eiko
responded. “Ever since grandpa died.”
“I’m sorry.” Zidane responded as he
scanned the pathway cutting through the rubbish waiting for his friends to
return. To his relief, Sarah came strolling from the distance just in time.
Vivi and Quina were not with her.
“Are you going to answer my question?”
Eiko asked again.
“Hmm?”
“When are you two getting married? Are
you going to live with us? Or do you have a place of your own? Because you can
live with us, you know, I’m a great home maker.”
“Eiko.” Sarah scolded which only made
the small girl place her hands on her hips in an assertive stance.
“I’m just checking out your guy,
Sarah, making sure he’s good enough for my sister.”
“Eiko, Zidane has someone already. Now
stop this nonsense and go help the moogles make dinner.” Sarah responded in
a patient tone.
Eiko looked up at Zidane with a
disappointed pout.
“You led me on all this time? Why
didn’t you tell me?”
“Eiko!” Sarah said placed her hands on
her hips in a mirror stance. Eiko
stuck her tongue out at Zidane and ran away.
“I’m sorry.” Sarah said in that
awkward moment.
“Does she do that to every man you bring
home?” Zidane asked in good humor.
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never brought
anyone else here before.”
Zidane grew silent as he sobered up to her
dismal expression. “I’m sorry about what happened to your grandfather.”
Sarah waved away his comment.
“Is this place your home?” Zidane
asked as he glanced at the dusty ruins of what was once a great city. A city
she had no memories of except in its present state.
“I know. It looks like a pile of
rubbish.” Sarah replied. “But this is my domain and I belong here.”
“The citizens here must be awfully lucky
to have such a kind princess.”
Sarah grinned mournfully at the boy. Her
eyebrows lowered, framing her large desolate eyes.
“Yes to the bugs, moogles and flies that live here. I am the queen of
cockroaches.”
“Sarah you know I didn’t mean that.”
Zidane answered as he realized his mistake.
“It’s alright.” She answered as she
reached out in an unorthodox gesture of warm and took his hand. “Come on,
let’s get back and eat, you must be starving.”
*****
“It’s princess Garnet, isn’t it?”
Eiko asked Zidane over dinner. Vivi looked up somewhat nervously but Quina
kept on eating as swiftly as ever. Sarah glared at Eiko and silently willed
her to drop the subject.
“You’re in love with the princess.
Vivi told me.”
“I knew the princess for a little
while.” Zidane answered this time in a nonchalant tone. But he could not
convince Eiko.
“What’s the use of being clothed in a
garb of royalty when you could be clothed in the robe of love?” Eiko asked
outright.
“Eiko.” Sarah choked out unable to believe her little sister’s
direct question.
“I don’t think I have either.”
Zidane answered playfully.
“My sister loves you, Zidane.”
With that Zidane’s face suddenly grew
heavy as his eyes fell on Sarah who was turning red from humiliation. Without
another word, Sarah got up and left the table, leaving behind an uncomfortable
silence broken only by the loud smack of Quina’s tongue as the being
devoured the dinner feast without any impression that anything was amiss.
*****
It was the next morning when Zidane
realized that Sarah was no where about. Upon asking Eiko, the small child
merely shrugged and announced cryptically that if he really wanted to find
her, he would.
He found out soon enough what she meant as
he realized that she did not mean for him to follow his will but rather - his
ears. A melody fluttered out of the deep inlet of Madain Sari. It dissipated
into the air bidding him to find the source of the sweet perfume. As he walked
the thought entered his mind that even if that Eiko said was true, that if
Sarah really did like him, he would be betraying the elder sister just by
being with her. If only she did not look so much like Garnet he wouldn’t
feel compelled to dream of Garnet in her presence.
“I thought you would leave without
me.” Sarah whispered tentatively. “After what happened over dinner last
night.”
“I know I was a jerk last night.”
Zidane responded. He smiled and cocked his head at her. “Will you forgive
me?”
“For what?”
“For messing up the lines. That phrase
about being clothed in love, it’s from that play by Avon right? I always
forget what comes after that line.”
Sarah chuckled.
“Eiko is a sweet kid. Maybe we should
take her along with us in our travels.”
“Us?”
“You don’t plan to desert the team do
you?”
“No, of course not.” Sarah replied too
abruptly.
“Good because I’m really getting used
to having such a cute girl following me around.”
“You should stop flirting with me.”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t love me. You are in
love with a princess.”
“I-“
“It’s obvious, Zidane. You don’t
need to deny it. I won’t pretend to be able to compete with Princess Garnet.
How can I ever measure up to royalty?”
“Sarah, Garnet far above me in every
possible way. I would better love a dream.”
“No.” Sarah answered looking away.
“She will come around, soon. And when she does you’ll search your
heart and realize that only she can put those broken pieces back together.
That’s just the way it is, you will see.”
Part
3 Iifa Tree
“Garnet,” Queen Brahne said to her
daughter affectionately. “What is troubling you?”
“It’s that boy, mother.” Garnet
answered looking down at her clasped hands as the clouds flew past them on the
Red Rose. “I think I really liked him.”
“Garnet!” The queen muttered in
disgust.
“But mothe-“
”Look at me, Garnet.” The queen
answered. “You are the heir to the throne. You will one day be the queen of
Alexandria. You must put your role ahead of yourself. You are not a little
girl anymore.”
“I know.” Garnet answered rapidly.
“All these things you say to me I already know. But I learned so much about
our people traveling around with him. I think I will be a better queen if I
were more open to the citizens of Alexandria.”
“Garnet.” The queen answered in
exasperation as she began to fan herself rapidly. “You are royalty. You
cannot mingle with the commoners because, you will become one of them.
Preserve yourself from their sight, make yourself as rare as the blue moon. A
common queen will lose her throne to the godly one.”
“Is that what it means to be royalty?”
Garnet answered her eyes bright with tears. “I was born with royal blood,
mother. Nothing can take that away from, not my actions, not my fancies. Even
if I am to be common, it would only be a painting without a heart. A dove
cannot become a crow even if it were to be covered with soot.”
The queen smiled sadly. “If only that
were so, Garnet. If peace were that simple everyone would have it.”
“I do not understand, mother.”
“Promise me you will not seek out this
boy.”
“Mother, that is a promise I cannot
make.”
“That is a promise the princess of
Alexandria must make.” The queen answered angrily. “Are you the princess
of Alexandria, Garnet?”
******
Steiner stood on the deck of the red rose
watching the black mages take their place, preparing for attack.. He knew
there was something horribly wrong in this but he could not quite place his
finger on it. There was that boy, who had been noble in every respect of the
word but he was now banished from Alexandria as a traitor. Steiner did not
pretend to be able to fathom the royal mind, yet his instincts begged him to
betray the woman he now hailed as queen. Beatrix had found her answer, he had
yet to find his.
“Stand back, Steiner.” The queen
ordered. “You are useless to me as of now. My weapons of fire and magic will
take of Kuja. Take the princess to a safe place and bring her back after the
battle is done. I will conquer the outer continent. I will become the ruler of
the world.”
“Queen Brahne but the outer continent is
largely wasteland!”
“Do you defy me, Steiner?”
“No!” Steiner answered quickly as he
kneeled. “My loyalty is eternal and -“
”That’s enough.” The queen answered.
“You are my sole knight now. Follow my orders and you will be well
rewarded.”
Steiner left the queen to her throne on
the Red Rose. He found Garnet sitting remorsefully in her chamber. She looked
so utterly sad, Steiner could not possibly imagine what would make her appear
so mournful.
“Princess, I must bring you to a safe
place.”
“My place is with my mother.”
“What do you mean?”
“I am the princess of Alexandria.”
“I know you are. Come we must hurry. The
battle is about to begin.”
“I don’t want to be princess,
Steiner.” Garnet responded suddenly as she looked away. “I want to be
myself but it would take a girl far stronger than I, to be herself in my
position.”
“I don’t understand what you are
saying, princess.”
“You were never meant to understand. I
just needed someone to tell me that I am making the right decision.”
“Princess. . .”
“Let’s go to that place.” Garnet
answered but no sooner had she said those words the Red Rose began to rock
with fierce blows of the queen’s canons.
*******
It was near twilight when the side of the
Red Rose shattered from the battle with Kuja. It well into darkness before
Zidane and his party found Queen Brahne washed on the shores of the beach.
Garnet was kneeling beside her deceased mother - crying.
Sarah stopped a few feet away from the
whale like body of Queen Brahne while Zidane ran the last few steps and
approached Garnet without hesitation. Steiner, who stood nearby, did not stop
him.
Sarah watched, completely mute, as Zidane
took Garnet into his arms and kissed her. All was forgiven, all was forgotten.
All she could do was turn and walk away, with the bitter satisfaction that her
prophecy had come true.
What did it mean to be princess? Sarah
wondered to herself. It was true that anyone could act like a princess just as
Zidane could easily act like a prince. Yet what was the use of garbs of
royalty if one did not have the blood to truly be royalty. She could be regal
and he could be valiant yet they were both performers in a story,
counterfeiting nobility.
Garnet on the other hand, was not bound to
the rules of virtue. Hers was the blood to make a black heart gold. Queen
Garnet, Sarah thought to herself, I only hope that you will act more
like a queen than your mother.
Part
4
The troop entered the castle of memories.
They walked up the terrible palace watching their memories and their
nightmares take place. There was a gravity in the air, an understanding that
there was a chance they might never go home again. Sarah kept to herself,
speaking only to Eiko periodically. Garnet had taken no notice of the summoner
girl at all throughout the journey. She spoke only to Zidane and yet, even
those words were few and far between.
Her mother’s promise echoed through her
mind. And yet, after Zidane’s revelation that he had been created by Garland
to be an angel of death, Garnet began to realize that there might be a future
for them after all. He was no commoner, in fact, he was a prince from one
point of view. The prince of Terra and the princess of Alexandria, it was a
perfect union, seemingly.
“I always knew that a knight on a white
horse would come, to take me away.” Garnet told Zidane gently as they found
a moment alone.
“I’m not a knight.” Zidane answered
her somewhat remorsefully. “I’m just a common thief.”
“No, you were chosen by Garland to be
his angel. Now you’re my angel to protect Alexandria by my side.”
“Dagger.” Zidane said as he turned to
look her in the face. “I’m just Zidane. Don’t treat me differently
because of a title.”
“You treat me the way you do because
I’m royalty.”
“No.” Zidane answered. “I would
treat you the same no matter what you are.”
“Liar.” Garnet said with a smile.
“If I were a commoner, you would ignore me, brush me aside and head for the
next pretty thing that catches your eye. . . .just like the summoner girl.”
It was hard to describe what Garnet saw then
in Zidane’s face. She wasn’t sure exactly what expression it was. It looked
like sorrow, but also joy. Without another word he turned and walked away from
her.
After Zidane left her, Garnet stood there alone looking out the window of
the demonic castle. She saw Steiner nearby as the group was resting from their
recent battle. Garnet knew that Zidane wanted her to love him for simple virtue.
Yet he did not understand the obligation she had to her blood as well to her
people. If devotion made the queen then anyone can be royalty. And she was not
just anyone. She was the peacock among hens. As much as he may believe himself
to be different from her, she knew that he would come back to her. Like
dissolves like. Royalty can only merge with royalty. Zidane Tribal, the angel of
Terra, would never peace elsewhere but in her embrace. Just as she would never
find understanding anywhere but in his.
*******
As the group came to the final doorway, a
landing that stepped off into oblivion, Zidane turned to his team and told them
that he needed to fight Kuja alone.
“If Garland is right, then I will be able
to defeat Kuja since I was created to replace him. There is no need to put the
rest of you in unnecessary danger. Thank
you for coming with me this far but there are some things I must do alone.”
Despite his friends protests, it became
obvious to them that what he said was true. This was a mission only he could
complete. Tearfully, they said their goodbyes.
“Goodbye princess.” Zidane said to Sarah
as she watched him with her sad eyes. Before she could deny the title he gave
her, he pulled her close and explained his words to her. “Garnet may be a
princess by birth but you are the princess by act.”
He turned and stepped into the void.
The field
around the Iifa tree exploded an hour later.
He never came back.
*****
Garnet was nineteen before she saw another
play performed by the guild that had once kidnapped her. Not a day passed that
she did not wake up thinking about Zidane. All she could do was sit by the
window and wait for the knight who would never come back to her.
Yet that day she sat there in her ribbon and
lace as the play opened. However, this was not like any Avon play she had ever
seen. The moment Cornelia stepped onto the stage, Garnet saw herself. The queen
looked into her own mirror reflection. It was Sarah, the summoner girl who
playing the princess.
And Sarah did it well. For her character
revealed a strength and devotion unlike any living royalty in existence. But
such was the allure of theatre, to show the audience a vision that surpassed
reality. There Sarah laced her lines, the princess of a neverland which can
never be. And there she professed her devotion to Marcus, the peasant which had
captured her heart.
At the conclusion of the play, Garnet
performed the queen’s duty as she stepped onto the stage to complement the
director.
“The actress did a wonderful job,”
Garnet said to the Baku as the curtains were drawn, “and the actor who played
Marcus as well. But why did he wear that black cloak all through the
performance? I could not see his face.”
Baku said nothing but turned to the actors
and announced. “Did you hear what the queen said? She liked the play.”
There
were a few cheers from the crowd of actors.
“It’s a pity we need to be leaving, your
grace.” Baku said to Queen Garnet. “We have an affair in Treno tonight.”
“I see.” Garnet said. “Then I bid you
farewell.”
With that each of the actors came and
thanked the queen for her graciousness until only Cornelia and Marcus were left.
Grinning shyly, Sarah bowed before her
mirror image.
“Your majesty, it was a pleasure
performing for you, adieu.”
Beside her, Marcus removed his hood. Garnet
turned stark white as she realized who he was. However, he only smiled and
bowed.
“It was great performing for you, Dagger.
Goodbye.”
Fin.