If He Should Return

Disclaimer - SquareSoft Characters are the property of SquareSoft. No infringement of rights is intended.

Editor - Christina. Thank you for sticking by me thick and thin.

To all readers,

Please read the author’s note at the end of this story. This story should not be available from ANY location except for Fair-melody.com/sleepless if it is, it has been stolen. I generally do not care where or how my stories are reposted except for this one. Please respect my wishes and I will likewise respect all of yours. 

My love is of a birth as rare

As 'tis for object strange and high:

It was begotten by Despair

Upon Impossibility.

Magnanimous Despair alone

Could show me so divine a thing,

Where feeble Hope could ne'er have flown

But vainly flapped its tinsel wing.

And yet I quickly might arrive

Where my extended soul is fixed

But Fate does iron wedges drive,

And always crowds itself betwixt.

For Fate with jealous eye does see

Two perfect loves, nor lets them close:

Their union would her ruin be,

And her tyrranic power depose.

And therefore her decrees of steel

Us as the distant Poles have placed

Though Love's whole world on us doth wheel

Not by themselves to be embraced,

Unless the giddy heaven fall,

And earth some new convulsion tear;

And, us to join, the world should all

Be cramped into a planisphere.

As lines so loves oblique may well

Themselves in every angle greet:

But ours so truly parallel,

Though infinite, can never meet.

Therefore the love which us doth bind,

But Fate so enviously debars,

Is the conjunction of the mind,

And opposition of the stars.

 Andrew Marvell, The Definition of Love

A young man dressed in black stood at the base of the cliff. He sighed and shook his head, unable to believe that he was really here. He ran his fingers through his short brown hair. Two words ran through his head.

Sorceress' Knight, Sorceress' Knight, deep black eternal Knight.

He took a step, hearing the dry grass crack under his feet. It was all the creation of the Great Hyne. Each blade of grass made of the same swirl of molecules that the Great Hyne had used to create the stars in the sky. Of the same miraculous particle that shaped the woman that stood at the edge of the cliff, watching the oversized moon.

He watched her for a moment, taking in the beauty of her dark hair, softly belted blue dress and long swan neck. Surely at that moment he knew what a man felt, the same all consuming passion that made dismal mortal days worthwhile. But he could never be sure if that was really the case. It was hard to know for certain what mortal emotions be.

His equals had always said that he thought too much. Would you dare to even question the will of the Great Hyne herself? The golden haired one had jeered. The young man did not care, turning his light eyes back to the girl he began to walk, slowly and steadily up the cliff. With each step he knew that he came closer to his own demise. It was an act of deceit for him to be here, with a daughter of a mortal. However he knew that it would be even more so - to stay away.

She turned as he came upon her. He sucked in a breath at her beauty. Her rose lips moved as she spoke to him. Glass bells in the wind, it seemed he heard.

"So you have come. I didn't think you would." She said, staring at him as though she had seen a ghost. He was like a shade to her, a thing of imagination and fancy. Not mortal, not real, not welcomed.

"I never break a promise." He whispered to her. The boy with the dark hair placed his palm against her cheek. In the moonlight, his ring glittered. For a moment the carving on the ring caught the girl's attention but she quickly turned her eyes away. She spoke with sorrow then, of matters which he had always avoided before.

"I live in torment. People suspicious of you, of this mysterious visitor which only I can see. I told you that I would hide you from them .. but I can't anymore." She said, her voice degrading into sobs as though the words were bitter stones which she choked up from within.

He kissed her then, to quiet her distress but she would not be mollified.

"They've accused me of being a demon. You must do something. No one else can save me now but you. They will put me to death!" She cried, breaking from his embrace.

"Lenore . . ." The boy began in suppressed desperation.

"No. . " She said shaking her head. "No more, I won't have it anymore. Prove your love to me. Prove it now!" With that she turned and ran from him, from the cliff into the forest until the last bit of blue disappeared into darkness.

The boy stood there, unmoving, before the large pale moon.

Lenore, if only I could.

* *

Rinoa Heartilly woke up with a jolt. She sat straight up in bed feeling the last images of the dream haunt her. She got up and flicked on a light. Feeling dizzy from moving so fast so quickly she tripped over a waste basket and fell into a chair which was knocked over as she tried to grab it for support. She muttered a small sound of pain under her breath and winced. She heard footsteps down the hall and her bedroom door opened suddenly. Her father came over to her in a hurry.

"What happened? Was there an intruder?" General Caraway asked, his voice saturated with concern as he reached over to remove the object that had fallen on top of her.

"No," She said. "I'm just clumsy. I had a nightmare."

She smiled and rubbed her head. It was a habit of hers to be afraid of this man yet somehow, now after inheriting the power of three sorceresses nothing really scared her anymore. Nothing, except those dreadful nightmares that visited her every night. For some reason she was always the black knight. Usually in dreams the dreamer plays the part of all the characters however, in these she played only one. It was troubling her.

"I'm fine," She assured him as she stood up and walked back over to the bed. She scratched the side of her head and waved her hand at him. "Go back to bed. I'm fine."

Her father gave her one last look of concern before he left the room and switched off the light. Rinoa sighed as she sat down on her bed. With one hand she reached up and wrapped her hand around the double rings at her throat. She felt a chill as she realized that she had seen one of them in her dream. The Griever ring was around the black knight's finger. It was the one that had caught Lenore's eye. Rinoa frowned as she tried to calm her terror. It was only a dream.

Her glaze wandered over to the large flat case lying on her desk. Rinoa reached over and lifted the top. A gunblade was inside, glittering beautifully in the slitter of light that shone on the blade. It brought her a sudden wave of sorrow to realize that Squall would never pick up that weapon again. She ran the tips of her fingers along the icy metal. It was with this blade that he had fought for his life, also this blade which had taken it. What a tragic irony that was. Perhaps that was the reason Garden had given this blade to her. No one else was willing to touch it.

"Hey that's mine." A voice said from behind her.

"Squall." Rinoa whispered with a smile as she turned towards him. He walked over to her and caught the hand which she had placed on the blade.

"I'm very particular about my gunblade." He reminded her as he kissed her fingers.

Rinoa giggled. "It's mine now, Squall."

He grew serious then.

"What's the matter, Rinoa? You nearly fell out of that bed."

Rinoa pouted at him. "I should have known you were watching me."

Squall walked over and took her other hand. Sometimes it was hard to tell where ghost began and mortal ended. She had not seen any ghost other than him so far, not any that were distinguishable from shadows anyway. That was a blessing since she had no intention of being labeled as a schizophrenic.

"Something is troubling you, Rinoa." He reminded her.

She looked at him, whereas anyone else would think she was looking into thin air, she saw him standing there beside her as solid as a oak tree.

"A dream, Squall." She began. "I've been dreaming the same dream ever since Alexandra passed her powers onto me."

She watched him frown his deep thought frown.

"A dream, Rinoa? Or a trance?" He asked her.

She paused. "I guess it's not a dream. It's more like a story actually. I play the role of the black knight. I'm in love with a girl named Lenore. She's in trouble and I can't save her because someone will be mad at me if I intervened. It would be interesting if it wasn't so frightening."

Rinoa shrugged. She was glad that she was talking to Squall. Had she been speaking to Seifer he would have probably started with a slew of bisexual jokes. Rinoa squeezed his hand as they sat together in the dark. The moonlight poured through the curtains reminding her of that cliff where the confrontation took place. She realized then that she was sitting here with her black knight as Lenore had a few minutes ago. Was it just a coincidence?

"I don't think it's an ordinary nighttime dream, Rinoa." Squall said after mulling over it for a moment. "You should go talk to Edea or Ellone. I worry about you Rinoa. . about what Alexandra's power might have done to you."

Rinoa pressed her lips together. I'm not a child Squall. I can hold my own ground. Yet she did not speak those words out loud. She had not forgotten Winhill and the events of that day. Never would she ever take his love for granted again.

"Alright," Rinoa said. "I'll do that. But Ellone first. I'm afraid Edea might not be too happy to see me. I must be the most hated person in the world right now."

"Whatever," Squall said. "Edea knows what it means to be hated for something she had no control over. It doesn't matter either way. I would like to see sis, Ellone, as well."

"Squall," Rinoa said. "You're not suggesting that Ellone might be the cause of these dreams of mine are you?"

"They do resemble my experiences in the dreamworld. It doesn't matter now, Rinoa. Go to sleep, you need to rest." He answered quietly.

She wrinkled her nose at him and stuck out her tongue. "You're just trying to get me to stop pestering you." Rinoa smiled playfully at him as she crawled under the covers.

"Squall," She asked. "Will you stay here beside me, until I fall asleep? I would like that, if you would."

Rinoa closed her eyes as he bent over and kissed her forehead. She felt him gently stroking her cheek. She infused her power in his fingers so that he could move strands of her hair out of her eyes.

"I'll stay here beside you until wake up. If you have a nightmare I'll step into your dreamworld and save both you and Lenore. Then I'll leave you two alone." He said with a slight smile.

Rinoa frowned again and slapped him playfully. "You sound more like Seifer every day Squall."

"I guess I'll have to go kill myself then."

Rinoa smiled as she closed her eyes. When she opened them again she saw Squall standing by the window. She closed eyes one last time and drifted off into sleep. Squall stood there at the window watching the empty streets of Deling. It was strange. He could have sworn he saw something, just outside of Rinoa's window. He glanced over at the blade which laid against the black velvet of the case which Rinoa had forgotten to close. What he would have given then, to be able to lift that gunblade.

"We need to talk," Raine said as she appeared by his side. Squall looked at her standing beside him at the window. She had not come to find him after he had died. It was a wonder that she was here now.

"I've been thinking about what you said to Laguna, Squall." She paused then as though the words were hard for her to say. "It's not entirely right." She drew in a breath more as a stalling mechanism than because she needed air. "I also had a part in what happened seventeen years ago. I .. .I drove him away. I waited and waited hoping that if he should return ... that I could right what was wrong but he never did and the burden of these seventeen years was left to fall on you."

Squall glanced at her and lifted an eyebrow. "Raine ..mother, we need to talk about what went on seventeen years ago. I'm so confused. Neither of you are willing to talk about it. The townspeople at Winhill are equally silent. I'm beginning to wonder if there is some conspiracy to cover up the circumstances of my birth."

Raine paused again. "Squall, this is a story you might not want to hear. The events are clouded with misunderstanding and laced with deceit. Even after seventeen years, I still can't make sense of what happened. You might be better off believing what you think now."

Squall scowled at her. "I'm dead mother." he watched her wince, she still could not accept the fact that he had really passed on. "There is no need for you to protect me anymore. I'll have no peace until I learn the truth."

Her lip trembled as she turned her gaze to him. Her eyes watered and sparkled in the white light. "Squall, I do not know the truth about Winhill."

****

The mountain towered over the tiny villages of the mortals. From his place on the cliff, standing still and quiet, Astrophel watched without moving. The wind swept his dark hair away from his face, revealing his delicate fine features as he wondered what was to become of Lenore. Crossing his arms over his chest, the young man frowned in deep thought.

He had watched beside the Great Hyne as she created all the creatures of the world. When she created the mortal he had been indifferent as he merely saw it as a exotic species of mammal, however, as the years passed things changed. The mortal, the human, began to evolve and change until it took on the form of The Great Hyne herself.

For hundreds of years he had stood on this cliff, in his dwelling, without descending into the villages below. He had no strong opinions on the matter as he did not consider the human an earth shaking creation, or even one worthy of his interest, until now. Sometimes at night he would see the tiny dots of firelight coming from the villages below like the minuscule stars in the sky. It was times like these when he wished that he did not dwell here on top of this lonely peak alone.

"What are thinking?" A voice interrupted from behind.

Astrophel turned in surprise to see a form behind him. It was in the shape of a woman but yet it was not like any mortal he had ever seen. She walked up beside him, her arms dangling loosely at her side. Her features changed as she walked, from one woman's face to another. Gold spirals of light snaked through her hair, over her arms and coated everything she touched. The robe she wore was simple, almost like a sheet wrapped around her body a few times over. Yet it hugged her body as the wind blew it against her nonexistent flesh. It was all illusion, Astrophel knew. She controlled the wind, the fibers of the cloth, the nerves in his eyes. He saw only what she wanted and what he saw was beauty. The Great Hyne, a sorceress and a woman.

She smiled and turned her face to the view allowing the wind to carry her hair up behind her.

"My knight, my suspicious distrustful eternal knight." She commented with mockery in her voice.

"I'm the only one who dares to tell you the truth." Astrophel remarked half with scorn and half with awe. It was impossible not to feel awe in her presence as she was the one who had stirred the molecules from the depths and created the consciousness he knew today. Yet he did not trust her or her judgment. Mortal women, as far as he had experienced, were prone to giving in to irrational emotion. She, however, never felt any emotion. This was all one elaborate game to her, one to which she made the rules. "What you believe to be the truth." She answered absently as her eyes changed from a pastel green to a dark blue. A stream of feathers came out of nowhere and circled her waist carried by a gentle breeze.

"You can't feel anything," Astrophel replied. "See the people in the village below? There is a woman down there who will be put to death for a crime she did not commit. They are all your children and yet you let petty injustice and strife consume their lives. You sicken me." "You are testing my patience." She replied with a hard edge to her voice. "This is an argument we have had a thousand times before. I grow weary of your stubborn creed. Mortal lives are consumed with sound and fury because that is their nature. There is nothing I can do to change that Astrophel."

Astrophel sighed and surrendered unwillingly. He knitted his brows in silent defiance and refused to meet her eyes. She was wrong, so wrong and there was nothing he could do about it simply because in her palm laid all the power of the world. So she ruled as a vicious indifferent tyrant incapable of understanding her own creations. It was such a pity.

"You feel too much Astrophel," the Great Hyne whispered quietly, "think too much."

Standing there, in unimaginable fury, Astrophel knew suddenly that it was time for him to truly defy her.

******

Rinoa awoke as she felt the sunlight wash across her face. Glancing out the window she saw the miles of ocean spread beneath the helicopter which was on its way to Esthar. She glanced to her right, at the seat which would have looked empty to anyone else.

"You're here," she remarked with a lazy smile. "I guess there's nothing for you to do anymore but watch me." She added with a coyness to her voice. He sat back casually without answering.

"Am I boring you?" Rinoa asked as she tilted her head playfully at him. "Irritating you? Making you wish you weren't stuck here with me for the rest of my life?" "I can think of a worse way to spend the rest of my life," he answered.

"Like what?"

"Like among the living."

She giggled and cupped her mouth with her palm. Her laughter died down as her mind wandered back to the cliff, the sorceress and the knight. That dream meant something, something direly important. It was like a warning that was screaming into her ear but all she heard were bit and pieces, hardly enough to understand what it meant at all.

Rinoa looked down at her hands which laid clasped in her lap. Slender pale limbs which were yellow in the sunshine, she lifted her hand one up to her face. Suddenly, she saw something which she was sure could not be - a coil of gold electricity snaked down her index finger and retreated down her arm. She gasped.

"Squall." She said, looking up to see if he had caught it too. "Squall?" She asked as she saw him rubbing his temples as though he was suffering from a headache.

"Are you alright?" She asked as she leaned forward anxiously.

"I'm . .feeling faint." He answered. "It's strange . .I . . never . .." "Squall?!" Rinoa yelled as she reached out to him. It was too late his voice trailed off into nothingness.

He vanished before her eyes.

Rinoa fell into the chair he was just sitting in a moment before. It was a horrible feeling, sitting here. It made her realize that he was not real, that in fact it was just a shade here and that she was truly alone all along.

Just when she thought things could not get much worse, it did.

The wood of the arm rest flashed gold as her palm came in contact with it. Rinoa gasped in shock as she drew back her hand as though she had been burned.

"How could this be?" She asked herself as she shyly traced a line along the wood. It was as though she had dragged a pen with gold ink along the surface because a river of sunshine flowed from her finger tip. The fluid vanished seconds later, changing wood back to wood.

The power of the Great Hyne.

A scream came from the front of the aircraft. As Rinoa opened the small hatch leading to the cockpit, she saw the man choking to death. She reached over, trying to help when he fell over dead.

It was then that the propeller blew.

The helicopter plunged into the sea.

[Home]

[Chapter2]

If He Should Return

Part 2 - Mermaid

Quistis kicked the sand underneath her feet as she strolled down the beach front. The coast of Balamb was peaceful at this time of the evening, when the twilight had begun to fade and the sky was filled with color of longing.

As she walked her thoughts came and went loosely dancing around the events of the past few days. After Squall's passing garden hadn't quite been the same. She had decided to go back to being a teacher for a while but soon she lost interest in that. Somehow, with every new student that walked into her classroom she saw him looking back at her. He was always watching her with that accusing glare, those icy eyes that challenged to her to defend her actions. She could not stay there a moment longer. So she had gone back to being a mercenary for hire.

It was nice to kill for once. Nice to hear the crack of a man's skull under her whip. But no matter how many villainous scumbags she destroyed, it could not bring him back for one second so that she could ask for understanding. And so she continued to walk down the beach front wondering how it would be to wade in as deep as the waters would take her. They say that death by fire was the most painful, that death by ice was second but somehow they forgot about death by regret.

Quistis turned her face to the setting sun and allowed the warm glow to bath her face in its comfortless embrace. Somewhere out there, there was a reason for all of this tragedy. Somewhere, somehow, surely someone kept track of all this misery and maybe in the end there would be some meaning, some purpose for all this suffering.

"One day," she whispered to no one in particular. "One day, this too shall pass."

It was your fault. The voice in her head squealed. You did this to him. He was only seventeen.

Quistis continued to walk along the shore, digging her toes into the sand while the foamy tongue of the ocean licked her feet. In one hand she held her boots and tucked under her arm was her whip. She had seen many a student meet a deadly end at a tender age but somehow that just didn't seem like the right destiny for Squall Leonhart. He just wasn't supposed to die. Death will not pass. The voice in her head repeated. Death is the only thing that never passes.

"Quistis," someone said from her side.

Quistis looked up to see Zell standing there beside her.

. "Hi," she said and stretched her lips in a semblance of a smile. "How's it going?" "I was in Balamb Town visiting Ma and I saw you as I was walking back . . " Zell said trailing off.

"Oh." Quistis replied and looked away.

"Want to walk back together?" Zell asked regaining some of his energy.

"No." Quistis said. "I just want to be left alone."

"Aw, Quistis," Zell said throwing his hands down. "All this grief, it's making us worry about you. People die that's just the way it is." Quistis felt her lower lip tremble as she lifted her hand to her face.

"I'm sorry," Zell immediately added. "I mean, they move on to a better place, take the big train uptown, go to sleep . . .you know." He trailed off as he began to run out of soothing cliches. "It's okay, Zell," Quistis replied as she began to walk away. "Just go, just go please." "Aww alright," Zell said with a exaggerated sigh.

Quistis walked away swiftly without looking back, only when she was far in the distance did she slow her pace and glance around blindly, trying to clear her eyes of the fresh deluge of tears. People die but not people like Squall. Not this way.

As she furiously cleared her eyes of its watery sorrow something suddenly caught her eye. Perhaps it was a trick of twilight but she could have sworn that she saw a form lying on the beach. Swiftly she walked closer and closer to the mirage but soon she realized that it was a little girl, lying on the sand tangled up in seaweed.

Quistis was sure that the tiny thing was dead, nothing washed onto shore like this could survive. However, as she bent down to check the girl's pulse, Quistis caught a weak stir of life. Opening her mouth in surprise, Quistis stood up and called for Zell. There was no one. Quistis bend down and picked the soggy bundle in her arms.

The girl was hardly older than ten.

The witch Lenore was taken from her prison cell at high noon. The sky was covered with clouds as the red headed sorceress walked the cobblestone path to the town square. For a moment Lenore hesitated, remembering her conversation with Astrophel nearly a month ago, before she was taken by the men of the village and imprisoned. For days she had lived in the filth and hunger with only rats to keep her company.

The guards came with the elders and they tortured her, trying to force to confess to her sorcery but she did not, would not, give them that satisfaction. She walked forward, feeling the cold rock under her bare feet. Her long tangled hair blew loosely in the wind and she allowed it to cover her face like a true witch would. The crowd stood gathered around, watching.

Witch.

Lenore stumbled forward, her hands bound in front with a rope of the strongest twine. Had she truly been a witch she would have broken it easily but she was not. There were no witches. Witches did not exist. Pieces of garbage fell at her feet, onto her robe as she walked. The crowd jeered and screamed.

Witch.

Lenore looked up and threw her hair proudly behind her. No she would not show fear, not scream even when they burnt her at the pyre. She would not. She smiled suddenly at her tormentors, show them her row of pearly defiant teeth. That infuriated them. The crowd pushed forward but the guards pushed them back.

"Witch!" A woman about her age screamed into her face. "How dare you defy the gods with your black magic!"

The woman spat at her and Lenore raised her soot coated hand to wipe the mess from her face. The warm fluid trickled down her cheek in one flaming badge of shame.

Was love truly worth all this? Astrophel, where are you?

"Walk!" The guard commanded her as he roughly pulled her to the pyre where bundles of faggots had been piled. Lenore's unsteady feet stumbled uneasily on the steps as she walked to her death. They shoved her against the stake and began to tie her hands behind her, binding her to the wooden mound. The congregation began to howl and cheer in glee, anxious to watch the villainous woman die. Twin balls of fire came closer as a guard bearing the torches walked slowly, ritualistically up the steps. Lenore closed her eyes and turned her face away. She clenched her fists and pressed herself against the stake.

It will pass, she assured herself desperately. It will be over soon.

But the fire never came.

Gasping in surprise, Lenore felt the bonds around her wrist suddenly give way. She collapsed onto her knees in the wood and she thrusted her head back and looked up. Astrophel stood there beside her, having thrown the hood he was wearing off. In one hand, he still held a torch which he threw aside and extinguished.

"Seize him!!" the guards screamed but they were thrown back with one prompt force from his hand.

Astrophel stood there and glared at the spectators, his eyes wide and furious as he paced about the stage.

"You fools," he began, "imbeciles. You accuse an innocent woman of being a witch when the god which created this world and you who dwell upon it is the only real witch!"

"Lies! Blasphemous lies," one of the elders yelled but the guards could not attack the intruder. He had surrounded himself with an invisible shield.

"Astrophel," Lenore moaned weakly but he continued.

"The Great Hyne created the world. She does not reveal herself because she cares nothing for your existence. You are nothing to her and your ideals of good and evil are perverted with misunderstanding and ignorance" Astrophel continued in breathless anger.

"Liar! Liar!" the crowded yelled in unison but Astrophel had finally lost his better judgment. In a swift motion twin snow white wings erupted from his back and flapped in the wind. It was then that a hush fell over the crowd and there was complete silence.

"It is an angel," the elder muttered in disbelief. He fell to his knees and soon the crowd followed, one by one they all bowed before Astrophel and his speech of revelations.

In a moment of shock, Astrophel turned his face to the sky. The clouds were stirring. They began to move about the shy in a demonic whirlwind and finally, light broke through. A singly ray of sun lit up the platform where Astrophel stood and loud booming voice emerged, the voice of the Great Hyne.

"Astrophel," the voice declared. "insolent knight, treacherous child. I cast you down from your place by my side. If it is mortals which you love, then it is a mortal you shall be!"

Astrophel held his hands up as a swirl of wind engulfed him. His wings vanished, the light which engulfed his form dimmed and he fell to his hands and knees.

"Hyne!" He cried out to the sky as the sunlight vanished and clouds filled the hole in the sky. "You can't do this to me! Not to me!" There was complete silence.

Darkness stretched, four sides out.

Rinoa squinted her eyes and tried to find the shape of Esthar over the horizon.

Nothing.

She trudged along, dragging her feet in the sand as she walked.

"Squall?" she called out loud. "Squall? Where are you?"

Rinoa wiped her tears away as she continued to walk away from where she had washed ashore. No mortal could have survived that crash but she was more than mortal now. Her powers were fearsome now, enough to take over the world three times over.

The cuts which had sliced open her face melted away in seconds. Her backbone which was broken in what had to be three different places knitted itself back together. Her dress was in tatters and it clung to her like a slimy second skin.

"Is there anyone out there?" Rinoa asked the night. Ghost or human, she did not care. Anyone at all.

As she continued to walk, she remember her dream which she had dreamt in that watery grave. Astrophel, crying out to the sky seeking the voice of the Hyne. It was not unlike what she was doing now, screaming into oblivion.

She looked up at the sky and saw stars glittering magnificently in the night. The north star shined the brightest overhead. She followed it without thought, telling herself vaguely that the helicopter probably crashed in the seas south of Esthar.

"Can anyone hear me?" Rinoa whimpered softly as she continued to stumble along.

Astrophel, she thought quietly, trying to send her mind elsewhere. Astrophel meant lover of the stars didn't it? What a lovely name. Astrophel and Lenore, Rinoa hoped that they found happiness in the end. "Are you okay miss?" Someone asked from behind her.

Rinoa spun around to see a old man standing there. A second glance told her that he was already long dead. A shade.

"I'm not dead," she whispered to him softly. "I'm looking for Esthar." "I see," the old man said as he leaned against his cane. "Esthar is about two miles that way." The man pointed to her right.

Rinoa nodded gratefully. "thank you." She hesitated for a moment before she rushed to leave.

"I'm looking for a young man," she told the elder. "He's dressed in black, a scar across his forehead, his name is Squall, have you seen him?" Rinoa asked. The old man frowned but did not reply. He looked troubled.

Unbeknownst to him, Rinoa read his mind easily. She saw something cross his memory. It was the neck of a man, a neck that had the engraving of a cross on it. A scar, in the shape of a cross.

"No," the man said. "I never heard that name before. . "

Rinoa nodded. The man was lying. It was okay.

"Thank you," she told him as she turned to leave.

She closed her eyes once more as she walked and a memory flashed across her mind.

You will never know . .never never know . .never . . know what it means .. to be human

"She's awake." Dr. Kadowaki said as she found Quistis and Selphie in the hallway. "the little girl you found, do you want to see her?" Dr. Kadowaki asked. Quistis nodded and motioned to Selphie to follow.

"Is she okay now?" Selphie asked.

"She looks fine to me," Kadowaki said. "She's probably an orphan. I don't know what kind of parent would leave a ten year old on a beach alone." "So she'll be staying in Garden?" Selphie asked as they walked. "Most likely," Kadowaki said.

"Another soldier," Quistis replied with a sigh.

"What?" Selphie asked. "what did you say Quisty?"

"Nothing," Quistis said with a despondent wave of her hand.

"She's in there," Kadowaki said as she placed her hand on the drapery before the room. "Don't say anything to upset her, she's in a delicate condition." Quistis waved her hand in dismissal as she strolled into the room. The little girl was sitting there beside the window with her back against the pillow. Quistis walked across the room toward the child but as she did she held her breath at the beauty of the tiny thing.

Her hair was crimson and streaked with sunshine. She was like a porcelain doll and all you wanted to do was to dress in velvet and lace. A girl like that did not deserve to be an orphan but then, who did?

"Hello," Quistis said tenderly as she took a seat beside the child. "How are you feeling my love?"

The child turned her eyes to the visitor but she did not smile. She looked so serious it was as though she had the burden of the world weighing down on her shoulders.

"I'm lost," she replied, casting her piercing green eyes onto Quistis. "I'm all alone." "No," Quistis said disagreeing immediately. "you are not alone. I'm here, I'll take care of you. You are in a good place." She bit her lips suddenly like she was about to cry.

"I'm just looking for my mother." The little girl finally replied. "Will you help me?" "Do you know where your mother is?" Quistis asked as she reached over and stroked the child's hair. "No," the little girl replied softly. "But I know someone who can help me .. will you take me to her?"

"Of course," Quistis replied. "Where is she?"

"I think you know her."

"Really?"

"I'm looking for Rinoa Heartilly." "Laguna!" Kiros Seagill yelled as he entered the Presidential room. "There's a girl here to see you." "Who?" Laguna asked turning away from the window. He rubbed his sleep deprived eyes lazily and glanced back at his old friend. "Is it someone important?"

"Rinoa Heartilly, the sorceress," Kiros replied throwing a strands of his long curly hair back. "She was found on the outskirts of Esthar this morning. They brought her to the presidential mansion. She was soaked through, it looked like she suffered through a aircraft accident."

"My god!" Laguna responded as he eagerly followed Kiros out of the room. "Is she okay? I mean is she hurt?" Laguna asked hastily, barely avoiding tripping over himself.

"She looks fine," Kiros muttered but Laguna had rushed into the reception room already where he found Rinoa sitting curled up on a couch. She had changed out of her typical blue dress into an Estharian garb of flowing white robes. Her hair hung loose and limp behind her. Her lips were as pale as newly fallen snow.

"Are you okay, Rinoa?" Laguna asked as he sat down beside the girl. "You look a fright."

"Don't worry about me," Rinoa said as she waved Laguna's hands away. "I'm still alive right?" Laguna flinched at her words although he tried not to show it. He smiled fondly at the girl and nodded. "what happened to you?"

"The helicopter I was on . .malfunctioned." Rinoa answered. "I don't think it was an accident." "What? Do you have any idea who did this?"

"Not really."

"Galbadian dissenters? Sorceress haters? Alexandra?"

Rinoa chuckled bitterly. "No, none of those. It was someone else."

"Who?"

Rinoa closed her eyes and tried her hardest to think. The name it was just on the edge of her tongue.

"It was a . .man" she answered. "A man with a scar on his neck in the shape of a cross. .. he did this .." He's after Squall, Rinoa realized suddenly. Squall's danger and he's not here anymore. Laguna, what am I to do? "A cross . ." Laguna whispered. Rinoa opened her eyes and was amazed to see how white Laguna had suddenly become. He looked like he had seen a ghost, no a dozen ghosts.

"What's the matter?" Rinoa asked. "It's beginning again." Laguna said quietly with a deadly serious look on his face. "I thought it ended, Rinoa. I should have known that it was beginning again when Squall died." "What are you talking about?" Rinoa demanded suddenly as the words began to sound familiar to her. In a way, she knew what he was going to tell her even before he said it.

"It's a curse." He told her. "The curse of that ring." Quistis brushed the girl's long fiery hair and smiled. "You are beautiful my dear," Quistis whispered fondly as she admired the child who was dressed in a red velvet dress with a pink ribbon around her waist.

"Quistis," the little girl interrupted as she jumped down from the counter where she was sitting. Her tiny heels clicked on the tiles of the floor as she glanced about at the busy Garden. "I don't want to be around so many people." "What's the matter?" Quistis asked, "you are a lovely child. You should be around people." "I'm .. afraid." "Come," Quistis said ignoring her protests. "let me show you to some friends." Quistis tugged at the child's arm and pulled her to a man dressed like a cowboy. "Hey little buddy," Irvine said as he caught sight of Quistis's companion. "who's kid is this, Quisty?" "Mine, for now," Quistis said. "She's looking for her mother." The little girl curtsied and Irvine laughed.

"Awwww isn't that cute. Hey Zell! Come here and look at this." "Wha?" Zell asked from his place on the bench where he was napping.

"Come on," Irvine said sneakily as he took the child's hand. "let's go meet chicken wuss." Irvine led her to bench when he lifted the girl with both hands and placed her on Zell's chest. Zell was jarred awake as he felt the sudden weigh. "Whoa! What's going on?" He asked as he tried to sit up. "Hello," the child said as she snickered with Irvine.

"Yo, this is a kid. Where did this kid come from?"

Irvine smacked Zell on the back of his head.

"Of course it's a kid. What did you think it was? A gerbil?" "Is she your new girlfriend, Irvine?" Zell asked condescendingly as he lifted the girl off his chest and placed her on the bench beside him.

"That's a pretty dress honey," Zell remarked. "Thank you" the child replied.

"I'm sure kid will let you borrow it sometime," Irvine reassured him. "Her name is kid?" Zell asked.

"No," Quistis said as she tried to stop laughing. "her name is-"

"Alexandra." A shocked voice interrupted from behind.

There was complete silence in the group. Quistis's hand froze over her mouth. Seifer was the only one who was moving. He walked up to the bench where the child was sitting. Her features which only a moment before had been one of playful cheerfulness had turned into one of malice. She knitted her brows and glared at Seifer. "What are you doing here?" Seifer asked as he returned her hard expression.

"Oh my god," Quistis choked out as she continued to stare unbelievingly.

"I have no quarrel with you," Alexandra replied to Seifer. "I'm no longer a worthy opponent for you, for any of you. I'm here just to speak and perhaps to correct my wrongs." "Correct your wrongs?" Seifer jeered in utter disbelief. In a swift motion he grabbed the child's throat and began to choke the life out her. "Ultimecia's spawn, I'm going to put an end to you now." "Hey Seifer!" Irvine interrupted suddenly. "It's just a kid dammit." Irvine moved to stop Seifer's brutal hold and after a moment's hesitation, Zell pitched in. "Let go," Zell muttered. "She's just a little girl." The two men forced Seifer back and Alexandra fell onto the bench breathing deeply holding her small throat.

"How dare you?" Alexandra snarled under her breath. Her large eyes were sharp with fury as she eyed Seifer. "Worthless knight."

"Bitch." Seifer retorted as he tried to shove the two men off of him. "She's evil dammit. What's wrong with you idiots?" Alexandra's face broke into a wicked grin suddenly as she smoothed the ruffles in her dress. "You're just afraid, Seifer." She replied mockingly. "Afraid that you are no match for Squall" "Shut up," Seifer growled.

Alexandra chuckled.

"When Squall returns you will be nothing and you know it. You are just scared of your own inferiority. What is the popular term for that nowadays? Oh yes, chicken wuss."

"What do you mean?" Quistis interrupted suddenly as the conversation had taken a surprising turn. "What about Squall?"

Alexandra turned her face to Quistis and she donned a look of innocence once more. "I know how to bring him back, Quistis. I have the power to allow you to see him again."

"Liar," Seifer replied. "Little wretch."

"Quistis," Alexandra said as she saw Quistis's resolution begin to waver. "Perhaps you believe that I am evil and I have given you no reason to trust me. However, I promise that if you don't believe me, you will never see him again. This is your choice." "What is it exactly that you can do?" Irvine asked.

Alexandra smiled. "You don't know who my father is do you?" "He's probably a ruby dragon," Seifer muttered under his breath as he roughly ripped his arm from Zell and Irvine's hands. "Shut up," Quistis snapped at Seifer as she grew more interested in what Alexandra was saying. "Go on," she ordered.

"Death is my father." Alexandra answered.

"It began many years ago," Laguna said as he sat alone with Rinoa in the reception room. "My mother died when I was very young and I know it was not of natural causes."

Rinoa nodded weakly as she watched Laguna begin to pace up and down the room.

"We lived in town to the west of Deling City, Rinoa, and I was a only child. I left to go to Deling City when I was seventeen to become a solider and two years after I left, my mother died. They told me that she died of disease, of some odd sickness that had ravaged my hometown and I believed them."

"For ten years I served in the army and when I was twenty six I went to this bar one night in the Galbadia hotel and I met this exquisite pianist named Julia Heartilly, your mother."

Laguna scratched head and stopped pacing momentarily as he watched Rinoa sitting quietly without expression.

"I used to go every night to listen to her play. Kiros and Ward went with me, those were the days. One day, somehow I managed to find the courage to go up to her, but my leg cramped and I looked like a complete idiot." Laguna said with a smile trying to draw some response out the unmoving girl.

Rinoa nodded quietly. "So what happened?"

"She approached me instead and invited me to her room. Don't worry, it's not what you think. We just sat and talked. You are Squall are not related by any means." "That's good to hear." Rinoa replied. "Now this is the part that I'm not sure about. As I was walking out of the hotel that night, I had this feeling that I was being followed. Being a soldier I trust my gut in situations of that sort so I ducked into a an alley way and listened for the person to approach." "Now this is the part that's spooky. I jumped out and I bumped into this man. He was all surprised and he began to complain about how rude I was. I caught a glimpse of his neck as he bent down to pick up his spectacles. I could have sworn that I saw a scar, in the shape of a cross." Laguna said as he lifted his neck and traced the line of a scar on his own throat. "So what happened next?"

"I don't know. I was sent to a mission on a mission the next day. Under my supremely apt leadership somehow we rounded up at Lunatic Pandora where we were attacked by a mother load of Estharian soldiers. Some how after that we surfaced at Winhill where I met Squall's mother, Raine Leonhart." "We lived peacefully for a while. I was the neighborhood exterminator and Raine sent me out for errands now and then. She had a darling adopted daughter, Ellone. She used to wander through the streets with little flower garlands on her head but never mind, I'm going off the topic." Rinoa nodded without speaking.

"I began to fall in love with Raine Leonhart, Rinoa. She was just a remarkable woman, strong, independent, beautiful, and she sure knew how to make a good martini. There were always my dreams of becoming a journalist and seeing the world but I don't know, sometimes you just follow life where it brings you." "I never forgot about your mother, Rinoa." Laguna said hoping to draw back her interest. "When that song came on the radio I couldn't help but be brought back to that bar where I sat admiring her breathlessly." "I see," Rinoa replied. "That song it was about you. How odd."

"Did you think it was about someone else?"

"I don't know. I guess for a little while whenever I heard it I thought of Squall. It's strange how things turn out." Laguna flinched slightly as she mentioned his late son's name. "Let's move on," he said hastily. Seifer stormed out of Balamb Garden in a state of fury. Those morons, trusting their fate to the hands of a sorceress which only a few months ago was on the verge of taking over world. What did they think, that since she appeared in a child's body that must mean that she truly had the innocence of a child? Bring back Squall, what rubbish. She was the one that killed him in the first place.

"ANGRY?" someone asked beside him. Seifer turned to see Fujin beside him.

"Yes of course I am. I am the only sane person left in Garden."

"WHY?" she asked curiously.

"Because! Look, just take a look" Seifer said gesturing madly in the direction of Garden with his gunblade. "Look at who has just become the official mascot of the sissy team?"

"WHO?" Fujin asked sadly.

"Alexandra!" Seifer said exasperated. "the little whore."

"I'm sorry, Seifer," Fujin said quietly. "if that's true then they will see their mistake in due time. Since when did you start caring about their welfare?" "Just leave me alone," Seifer said with a dismissing wave of his hand. He turned and stormed away, walking deep into the plains around Garden, heading for duel hill. "bloody fools," Seifer muttered under his breath as he walked up the rocky side of the ancient cliff. As he reached the top, he strolled over the flat rock where he and Squall and dueled so long ago.

"My father is death," Seifer repeated mockingly. "kiss my ass, and my father is an Ochu."

"Ah but he is."

"Who said that?" Seifer asked as he whirled around. Seifer held his gunblade ready as he glanced around madly at the shadows of the mountainous landscape.

"I did," a young man, hardly older than himself, appeared in the sunlight. His hair was fair, almost white in color. He appeared to be white from head to toe. He smiled at Seifer as he walked up. Less than human, more than illusion, the man appeared to Seifer to be an element of the supernatural. The man had a scar on this throat, in the form of a cross. Strange.

"Seifer Almasy, I presume," the man said.

"Who the hell are you and why are you following me?" Seifer asked bitterly.

"I've come to offer you the truth." "I already know the truth."

The man chuckled. "Pitiful mortal."

"Whatever," Seifer said as he studied the strange creature.

"Oh I think I heard that before. There was a man with a scar identical to yours. I met him just two days ago."

"I'm sorry mister but you need to get your eyes checked. That man died over a month ago." "Or so you believe."

"What do you mean?" Seifer asked suspiciously.

"Astrophel, did your sorceress ever mention that name to you little knight?"

"How did you know about that?" Seifer snarled but began to lose his resolve. "You knew Ultimecia?"

"I see she has mentioned it to you then," the man said smiling. "Good good that will make my job so much easier."

"Explain yourself now!" Seifer said as his gunblade began to grow restless.

"Don't worry little knight. Come with me and let me tell you something which has never fallen on mortal ears before." Watching the stranger suspiciously, Seifer finally gave in to his seductive invitation.

"Alright. I'll listen .. for a little while." The man laughed.

"Come let me tell you about a girl named Lenore."

[Home]

[Chapter3]

If He Should Return

Part 3 - Memories of Winhill

"I married Raine Loire in the middle of December," Laguna mused whimsically. "We lived together for a peaceful two months before Estharian soldiers appeared one day and changed everything. It was a quiet morning but there was this thick mist, the thickest I've ever seen." "Really?" Rinoa asked. "A mist?"

"Yes," Laguna replied as he took a seat and stopped pacing. " Now let's move on, we're not here to talk about the weather conditions of tiny towns south of Galbadia." Rinoa smiled sympathetically.

"And then?"

"They took Ellone from me .. " Laguna choked out. "I tried so hard to stop them. So hard. I begged, reasoned, threatened them with my gun but nothing worked. In a moment of fury, I even punched one of the soldiers. It hurt really bad, those helmets are harder than bedrock."

Rinoa chuckled weakly but Laguna continued.

"In the end I barely escaped with my life. If the mist had not been so thick that morning so that it blinded the soldiers and carried away their shots, I would have passed on right there and then."

Rinoa chuckled.

"I can't imagine a world without a Laguna Loire." "It would probably be a whole lot better!" Laguna declared playfully. "….and Squall," Laguna continued. "Perhaps if I did die he wouldn't remember me as villain of his childhood." "Laguna. " Rinoa began.

"No," he said quietly as his face grew serious. "I left him in an orphanage with a group of strangers. Albeit, they were nice strangers, the Kramers, but still that's no excuse. I should have figured out something. Seventeen years, I sat here twiddling my thumbs and my boy grew into a man. And such a man he was. I could not have imagined a better son." "Why did you leave him?" Rinoa asked gently as she approached a subject which she knew she had no business with. "Surely you considered bringing him here, to Esthar."

"I have, a thousand times." Laguna responded as he brushed back his long hair with his palm. His face formed a frowned as he considered her words. "It was hard for me to cope with Ellone's kidnapping. I could not sleep, eat, breath until I had her back in my arms. It was bad enough that she was taken by the Estharian dogs but there was something else that troubled, haunted me every night and day. The Estharian soldier I punched, there was a scar on his neck. For a moment his helmet slipped and I could have sworn that there was a cross on his throat but, like I said, it was a foggy day, I wasn't sure." Rinoa bit her lip as she took in his words. She raised her hand and squeezed the rings around her neck.

"Needless to say, I went after Ellone." Laguna continued. "I left Winhill with the clothes on my back, Kiros at my side, and a painting of my town. I brought it with me to remind myself of home because I knew when I left that I could never return. It's the painting that hangs outside of this reception room, Rinoa, perhaps you've seen it." Rinoa nodded but did not respond.

"Kiros and I gradually found our way to Esthar. We took all sorts of odd jobs but that's another story. I have to tell you one day about how I starred in a movie and a ruby dragon wandered onto the set somehow." Laguna chuckled. "It was a riot." "Anyway," Laguna continued. "Although Ellone might have told you otherwise, I knew that Raine was pregnant. I left to protect her from this horrible curse. I thought that if I left she would be alright and that this plague would follow me to Esthar."

"But it didn't" Laguna said quietly. "It killed her barely a year after I was gone." "Raine," Rinoa whispered. "Didn't she die of pregnancy complications?" She confessed it herself, Rinoa realized as she thought back to the bluffs. "No," Laguna said. "She didn't. I know she didn't. She was murdered, murdered because I loved her." "Rinoa," Laguna said quietly. "I only love two women in my life and they both died because of it. I thought it was my family name but it's not. It's that horrible ring that you wear around your neck. It's cursed." "My mother died in a car crash." Rinoa answered without flinching. "It was no curse that killed her."

"Seventeen years," Laguna whispered as he mused. "I could have been with him all those years and yet I stayed away, to protect him. I made sure that the records called him Squall Leonhart and not Loire. I took every precaution to cut everything that would lead anyone to him but in the end the curse found him. I led it to him during the Ultimecia crisis. Maybe he would be living today if I had not reached out in my most desperate hour."

"Laguna!" Rinoa said as she shook the man. "Listen, Squall impaled himself on his gunblade. No one killed him, he killed himself. You need to stop this."

Laguna sighed finally as he stood up wearily.

"Rinoa you must be tired from your journey. Come on, maybe you should call your father to let him know you are okay. He must be worried."

Rinoa nodded and allowed Laguna to help her up.

A few moments later Rinoa entered a luxurious room in the President Palace. Stilling stiffly on the bed, she glanced over at the phone. In a moment of impulse, she picked up the phone and dialed the private number to her father's mansion. "Hello?" A masculine voice came over the line.

"Hi," Rinoa said quietly.

"Rinoa?!" The voice asked. "Rinoa is that you?"

"Yeah, dad," Rinoa replied as she pressed the phone against her cheek. "I'm alive, in Esthar. About to go to bed. Don't worry about me." "I almost had a heart attack worrying about you."

"Dad," Rinoa whined as she began to fiddle with the telephone cord. "I'm alright." "Your old father needs to be humored."

"Dad," Rinoa said suddenly. "Mom, when she died, it was an accident right?"

"Why?" The general asked with suspicion entering his voice.

"I just want to know," Rinoa answered refusing to tell him more.

"The car skidded on some ice. The driver couldn't control the vehicle. It could have happened to anyone, Rinoa." "The driver .. he didn't have a strange scar did he?" Rinoa asked tentatively. "No." Her father replied without hesitation. Rinoa breathed a sigh of relief. "But, there was this man .." her father continued.

"What?" Rinoa asked curiously.

"There was this young man with white hair. I heard that he called the ambulance and when I rushed into the hospital, he was there, sitting beside her. I've never seen him before, he had to be around seventeen. I heard that he held her hand on the way to the hospital. Now that you mention it, he did have a scar .. on his neck. It was strange, almost like two scars arranged perpendicular to each other." "No .. " Rinoa whispered. "Oh my god.. ."

"Rinoa?" Her father asked. "What's the matter." "Goodbye, daddy." Rinoa stuttered as she hung up the phone.

She sat there without moving.

It was all true.

"I'm not lying," Alexandra said wiping away her tears. "My father is the gatekeeper of the underworld. You see it stems back from the days of the Great Hyne. No mortal has ever made it there before but Rinoa could. She could take me to him and . . .you know the rest." "How do we know you aren't lying?" Irvine asked. "For all we know you could be leading us into another whammy just like last time." Alexandra sighed.

"Look at me," she said opening her hands in a gesture of openness. "I'm a helpless child. What do I have to gain from your destruction?" "How did you get here anyway?" Zell asked curiously. "Didn't you live in the future or something? Isn't that why you possessed Rinoa?" "Yes, but my father, he helped me cross the breach between times," Alexandra replied. "It's complicated, you won't understand, but Rinoa will. Please, will you just take me to her?" "Rinoa is in a state of grief right now," Irvine replied uncrossing his arms. "She probably can't make a logical decision . .since Squall left and all." Alexandra chuckled.

"There are things which Rinoa keeps from you. She knows a lot more than she lets on."

"Like what?" Zell asked slightly perturbed.

"Like the fact that she sees ghosts." Alexandra smiled. "Now I know you thought she was queer when you saw her walking about having conversations with imaginary people, perhaps hugging thin air. Squall is with her. He never left her but he will soon if he has not already, if you don't take me to her." "What?" Quistis asked as she suddenly burst into the conversation. "Ghosts? Rinoa sees ghosts?" Quistis stared at the little girl in absolute disbelief but in a second her mind wandered back to Squall's funeral where Rinoa was eagerly smiling at the thin air beside her. Perhaps it was true, perhaps. "Did you really think Squall would be stupid enough to kill himself if he didn't know for sure that he wasn't going to stay dead?" Alexandra asked furiously, bordering on impatience. "He knew that Rinoa would continue to see him after his death. He knew that there was a way for her to bring him back but, I will assure you that she will never succeed without my help." "Alright," Irvine said. "Even if you are telling the truth and Death is your old man, why do you want to help us? What would you gain if Squall came back?"

Alexandra looked speechless for a second before she sighed and met his eye.

"It was never my intention to kill Squall, Irvine. I want him to come back as much as you do, if not more."

Irvine chuckled and looked away.

"Excuse me while I laugh my guts out."

"It is your friend's grave you are laughing over." Alexandra reminded him casually. Quistis looked to Alexandra.

"A ghost, I never realized that ghosts existed."

"Quistis," Alexandra said sadly. "I saw ghosts all the time before Rinoa took my power. Don't you see? My father is death that's why I have this power. That's why I can help you." "I don't get it," Zell said, scratching his head. "Death is a person?" "No," Alexandra said. "Death is a knight, the knight of the Great Hyne. My father's name is Astrophel." "The Great Hyne had two knights," the man in white told Seifer. "Your history books probably say as much." Seifer shrugged as he leaned against a large dusty boulder protruding from the bedrock. He crossed his arms and studied the man skeptically.

"What the history books don't tell you is what happened to those two knights before the Great Hyne broke up her power and disappeared." "How do I know you are telling me the truth?" Seifer asked. The man nodded knowingly, unperturbed by Seifer's disbelief. "Just listen to my story. You know, you kids these days, so impatient." Seifer grinded this teeth in irritation as he glared at the other man. He looked twenty five at most.

"Yeah you just look like an old timer to me," Seifer replied mockingly. "Looks may be deceiving, young man." "Just shut up and tell me the damn story," Seifer said hastily. "The Great Hyne's two knights were named Astrophel and Draven, one black one white. However only one of the two was loyal to the Great Hyne. The black knight, you see, had other desires on his mind than serving the wishes of the Great Hyne. The black knight decided that earthly desires and the pleasures of the flash were more worthy an idol than the Great Hyne. "The black knight was cast down from grace and he was left on a human body, trapped with the humans whom he loved so much. That girl's name was Lenore or better known to you as Ultimecia." Seifer raised his eyebrows, growing interested suddenly, although he did not lose that suspicious stare.

"So Lenore and Astrophel were quite lost," the young man continued in a bored voice. "Astrophel wasn't happy about being a mortal, after all he was an angel a few moments ago. You know how that feels like don't you? It's like being transformed into a snail. You're slow, stupid, fragile, no girl in the world is worth that kind of sacrifice. "So naturally Astrophel wanted to go plead with the Great Hyne. He knew that the Great Hyne had a soft spot for him, being the idiot that Astrophel was. However, you see none of the humans would help Astrophel and his whore get to the mountain of the Great Hyne. They were all scared and rightly so. Angering in the Great Hyne could be a fatal mistake. She is a woman after all, you know how women get pissed when it's that time of the month." The young man chuckled but his smile turned into a frown when Seifer didn't laugh back. Reaching out he patted Seifer playfully on his shoulder. "Loosen up my man, it's not your eternal freedom that's on the line here." "Go on," Seifer replied gravely. "Tell me the rest." "Alright alright. There was this one man and his family that agreed to help Astrophel and Lenore. The ignorant mortals helped Astrophel and Lenore on their journey to the gates of the dwelling of the Great Hyne. There, Astrophel tried to seek the help of his old friend the white knight, Draven. "Draven was reluctant at first. He said 'no, I'm not going against the orders of the Great Hyne,' but in the end he gave in to Astrophel's pitiful pleas. So the white knight gave Astrophel and Lenore passage into the realm of the Great Hyne therefore beginning a plague upon mankind that continues onto this day." "You have not yet given me any reason to believe anything you are saying," Seifer replied angrily. "Oh yeah?" the young man asked as he leaned forward. "There is something I should tell you before we progress further." "And that is?" "I am Draven. I am the Great Hyne's white knight."  

"You have taken us far enough," Astrophel said to the elderly gentleman as the mountain of the Great Hyne loomed in the distance. Surrounded by clouds, a hazy morning mist and a morning's light, the peak seemed almost heavenly in appearance. "Is she really a witch?" the old man asked gently. "Yes," Astrophel answered, glancing at the mortal who nearing the end of his days. "She is a witch but she is not evil. She just doesn't understand her own creation." "And you, you will try to make her understand?" the man answered raising his thick white eyebrows. "I will try," Astrophel answered reaching over to Lenore's hand. "If only she would listen." The elderly man sighed.

"Young man, you cannot explain in words what it means to be human. The only way to know what it is to be human is to experience it." Astrophel looked to the elder and nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. You have not yet told me your name. Please, so I can repay you someday for your kindness." The old man smiled and shook his head.

"There is no need for that, Astrophel. Your revelations have been payment enough." Astrophel and Lenore watched the hunch backed benefactor walk away slowly, leaning against his cane. The pain of being old, was it really worth it to know what it is to love? Looking at Lenore, Astrophel saw only the bloom of youth, a time when every moment truly was glorious. However, youth does not last, it creeps away day after day until the human was just a bag of skin and bone. Pain and pleasure came hand in hand but was the pleasure really worth the pain?

"Come on," Astrophel said to Lenore, "let's go, I know Draven guards the gates to the peak. As mortals only he can allow us to pass through." As the pair began to walk Lenore spoke up.

"Astrophel, I know that old man's name." "Yes?" Astrophel asked, vaguely interested. "It's something Loire, I'm sure of it. Loire."  

As Laguna walked past Rinoa's bedroom he heard a blood curling shriek. Dropping everything, Laguna scrambled into her chamber and found the young girl lying in a heap on the floor. Her covers were wrapped around her in a tangled mess. Laguna knelt down beside her and shook her, trying to wake her up from her nightmare. "I didn't kill him," the girl whispered in between sobs as she woke up from her dream. "I didn't kill Squall. I didn't." "Hush," Laguna whispered as he was genuinely frightened by the conviction in Rinoa's voice. "No one killed Squall, Rinoa, he killed himself." Laguna smoothed the Rinoa's sweat drenched bangs away from her forehead and held her tenderly in a embrace. In a moment of fatherly affection he picked her up and placed her back on the bare mattress of the four post bed. "I kill them," Rinoa whispered as she rolled restlessly on the bed. "I killed them all. Julia, Raine, Squall, it was all my fault." Laguna sat down beside her in frustration.

"What are you talking about Rinoa? Are you awake?" She grew calmer suddenly as she started to mutter incoherently under her breath. After a few seconds she drifted back into peaceful slumber. Laguna watched her curiously but uncertainly passed off what he had just saw as a nightmare.

It was as Laguna walked back into his office when he realized that the phone was ringing. He picked it up and found that it was his secretary.

"President Loire?" The feminine voice asked. "Yes, Dawn, what is it at this ungodly hour of the night?" "There is an important phone call for you President Loire, should I put it through? It's from Balamb Garden." Laguna sighed as he glanced at the clock on the wall. It was three in the morning, therefore it was three in the afternoon where Balamb was, no wonder.

"Alright," Laguna said finally. "Put it through." There was a momentary beep before Laguna heard a woman speaking on the other end.

"Hello?" She asked. "Laguna?" "Hello Quistis," Laguna replied warmly. "What's going on?" "Laguna, is Rinoa with you?" "Yes," Laguna replied as he visualized the feverish semiconscious girl in his mind. "She's here with me." "We need to see her," Quistis implored. "Can we please? It's urgent." "What's going on?" Laguna asked as he sensed the seriousness in Quistis' voice. "It's about Squall," Quistis replied. "Laguna, I think we can do something about his death."  

"So Astrophel went to the Great Hyne," Draven said as he pulled out a cigarette and slipped it between his lips. He pulled out a lighter and lite the thing quickly as he started strolling for the shade. "Knights smoke?" Seifer asked in distaste. "I've been alive since the beginning of time, what do you think prevents me from committing suicide?" "That's pathetic," Seifer replied. "Shut up, kid," Draven replied as he scratched his scar. He smirked at Seifer and motioned for the boy to follow him in his walk. Seifer was irritated, somehow the Draven dude had imitated his trademark smirk to perfection. The bastard. "The Great Hyne wasn't pleased that I had allowed Astrophel through the gate. Okay, I'm lying, she was furious. You have seen it, we thought the world was going to end. There was lightening, rain, the works. You know how some people say the weather affects their mood? Well the mood of the Great Hyne affects the weather. "I see," Seifer replied nonchalantly. "Spare me of the details will you? I don't have all day." "Okay when Astrophel gave the Great Hyne a whole bunch of rubbish about how she didn't know what it meant to be human. He was whining like your regular sissy hussy and well somehow something he said about how she couldn't feel love really pissed her off. "I tried my best to play the peacemaker but it was too late. Astrophel had really pushed the Great Hyne too far. "And?" Seifer asked. Draven looked sad for a moment as he tapped some of the ash onto a bounder. He sighed wearily as his tough exterior broke down from that horrid memory.

"She laid down a curse, a curse that would one day bring about the end of the world"  

Rinoa sat at her vanity table brushing her hair when Kiros walked into her doorway. Observing herself in the mirror, Rinoa saw a ghost of a girl looking back at her. Her cheeks were hollow and her eyes were dark from weariness. Her dreams would allow her no respite. Astrophel, Draven, the Great Hyne, what did it all have to do with Squall's disappearance? Well he was dead and this was what dead people do - disappear.

Somehow the thought of that brought tears to her eyes. She needed to see him again. Surely that encounter on the helicopter could not have been goodbye. Oh if only suicide was an opinion she would take it as gladly as a man lost in the desert would accept water. Yet she was afraid that she would not be able to die. The way her back had knit itself back together terrified her. What if she could never die? She would shrivel up into a little piece of skin and bone with only a voice to speak. It was what Astrophel had said but in a way it was something wholly different. Poor Astrophel and his lost cause, somehow Rinoa knew that he would not able to convince the Great Hyne of his judgement. The Great Hyne was one hell of a stubborn woman, from what Rinoa had picked up from her dreamworld. She must have been quite a feminist.

"Rinoa," there are some people here to see you," Kiros told her gently as he brushed back some of his luxurious braided hair. "They're some SeeDs from Balamb. It appears to be urgent." "Alright," Rinoa whispered. "I'll be right there." Rinoa sighed as she placed her brush back on the glossy mahogany of the table. She cupped her hands and ran them over her cheeks trying to resurrect her old cheerful demeanor. She tried to smile into the mirror but the smile didn't even reach her cheeks never mind her eyes. She stood up wearily and glanced about the room, half expecting to see Squall there, standing in the corner, as he finally stopped playing this terrible joke on her. "Meany." She whispered to no one in particular. Yet as soon as the words left her lips she felt a strange revulsion. Somehow those words felt foreign. They were the words of another girl, a girl whom she could no longer stand.  "Squall where are you?" She asked instead. Those words disappeared into the vastness of space and no reply came back to her. She was just talking to herself. Alone. Sighing wearily, Rinoa turned and left the room, walking down the hall to the reception room. As she turned the corner, Rinoa could easily overhear the voices of the SeeDs in the room up ahead. "What a cute little girl." That was Laguna, Rinoa realized as she walked closer. "We'll explain when Rinoa gets here," That was Quistis, Rinoa realized.. Somehow, she wasn't looking forward to meeting the woman again. There were three people in that room, Laguna, Quistis and one other who had not spoken yet. Swallowing her reluctance, Rinoa walked through the double doors into the reception room. It was not as she expected. Rinoa froze in her place. She saw no one, not any of the SeeDs. Easily, Rinoa picked the presence up.

The little girl.

 The one with the red hair.

Alexandra.

 The gathering in the room watched the petrified look on Rinoa's face and for a moment there was absolute silence. "Rinoa," Quistis said, finally. "There is nothing to fear. She's just a child. Harmless." "What are you doing here?" Rinoa finally choked out in broken speech. "How?" "I want to help you," Alexandra answered. "I know the path across the stars. Rinoa, please let me help you, bring him back." "What is going on?" Laguna asked as he was equally surprised. "She can help us bring Squall back to life," Quistis pleaded desperately. "Alex tell them what you told me, about you father." "Rinoa, my father is death. I can show you how to. ." "Alexandra," Rinoa replied. "You said so yourself that no one has ever succeeded in this endeavor. How can you assume that I will succeed?" "Because you want it so badly," Alexandra replied. "You can't live without him. If we fail in this attempt we will die but at least there is a chance." "You would give up your life for him?" Rinoa asked slightly incredibly. "Rinoa," Quistis answered. "If you refuse I'll accept." Rinoa looked up and met Quistis' eye. For a moment the two women studied each other wordlessly. "What is going on ladies?" Laguna asked scratching his head in confusion. Irvine spoke quickly. "We've found a way to resurrect Squall, don't ask how. It's a bit complicated. The thing is that it's pretty damn dangerous and no one has done it before." "Hell," Laguna said stamping his foot. "I'll do it." "No," Rinoa finally spoke up as she watched Quistis sadly. "To succeed there has to be mutual love. I'm sorry, only I can go." Broken, Quistis turned her eyes away and crossed her arms. Reluctantly, Rinoa turned back toward Alexandra and studied the little girl.

"He's gone. I can't see him anymore, why?" "I don't know." Alexandra replied. "You lie." Rinoa said calmly. "This was all part of your plan wasn't it? I see now, I see it all in your mind. It is I who can read minds now Alexandra." Alexandra flinched.

"Rinoa, please, I want to help, really I do. Of all the people here, you know my intentions better then them all. Why are you being so stubborn?" Rinoa sighed finally as there was complete silence in the room once more.

"Tell me Alexandra, is there really a chance that this could work? Don't lie I will know it if you do." "Yes," Alexandra replied without hesitation. "It will work and that I promise you Rinoa. I . .never intended to kill . .him." "No you intended to kill me." "Rinoa, it wouldn't have mattered either way. Do you understand? This was destined to be, can't you see it?" "What do you mean?" "The Great Hyne, this was her doing. The bearer of the griever ring, you, are destined to set my father free. Nothing I did that night mattered. This is preordained." Squall Leonhart stood on the Winhill bluffs. The gentle breeze was stroking his hair gently as he walked over the rocky flower field. He studied the horizon momentarily, waiting for someone to appear. Who was that he was waiting for? Was it Rinoa or was Alexandra? No actually neither seemed right. He was waiting for someone else.

Before him he saw the white facade of Raine Loire's tombstone. Standing there for a moment, he realized suddenly who he was here to see. It was then when he heard her softly call his name. "So you've come to see me again." "Who else is there for me to see?" He asked a tad sarcastically. "I don't have that many relatives among the dead." "I take it you want to hear about Winhill. It's always Winhill isn't it?" Squall studied his mother. She stood there patiently waiting for him to answer. Yet somehow he didn't want to see her so badly any longer, not so desperately as he needed it when he was still alive. Now, he felt like there was somewhere else he had to be. "Tell me about Winhill," Squall answered. "I want to know what happened. How did you die exactly?" She hesitated and began to twirl a strand of her hair on her index finger.

"I don't know if you want to know this." "Just tell me." "Squall did you really think that you were in love with Rinoa?" "Mother, I died for Rinoa." "How deep is your love Squall? How far will you go for that love?" "I don't understand. What does this have to do with Winhill?" Squall searched her face for a sign but he saw nothing. Yet the harder he looked, the worse her face blurred before his unsteady eyes. It was like a sculpture, made of clay, that had been squashed by a unforgiving finger. His mother's face became a mess of flesh that dripped onto her sweater. "It has everything to do with Winhill," the voice said. "Everything." "No!" Squall whispered as he took a step back shaking his head. "No." "Rinoa killed me! Rinoa killed your mother!" The thing shrieked. He woke up.

"Squall? Are you okay?" Raine asked as she placed her hands upon her son's shoulders. "Yeah I'm fine," he replied as he rubbed his eyes wearily. He realized then that he was in a cave, here with Raine. How did they get into a cave? Oh yeah, he went to sleep here. He glanced around to see if anything had changed since he had dozed off. Nothing. It was still that pitch darkness. Just him and his mother, here, ever since he had been taken from Rinoa's side in the helicopter. 'Rinoa killed your mother' Squall squinted to see a dim outline of Raine beside him.

"Mother," he began. He was almost afraid to ask. "Mother, was there anyone responsible for your death?" "What?" She asked, sounding surprised. "I mean, Rinoa didn't . ." kill you? "I'm sure Rinoa is alright," Raine finished for him. "Don't worry, my dear." Squall sighed and realized how stupid his question was. He was held prisoner here with his mother. He should be worried about their safely and not that of Rinoa's. At least she was still among the living. He stood and felt the wall with a single hand. Well it felt like. . . rock. But they were ghosts, how could a wall of rock keep them captive? There had to be some higher power in this. Someone was keeping them here.

"I've never seen anything like this," Raine replied as she tapped the wall with her index finger. "Not in seventeen years. Whoever brought us here . . ." "Brought us here because of me," Squall answered, finishing the sentence for her. [Home]

[Chapter4]

If He Should Return

Part 4 - From the Depths of Hell

"The Great Hyne sentenced Astrophel to guard the gates of the underworld and for me to be his keeper." Draven said miserably. "I didn't think she would be serious. I thought that after a year or maybe two she would see her error .. but that would never come. "So century after century it has been my job to ensure that Astrophel does not succeed in breaking the curse. I have been alive since the beginning of time, Seifer, and I have reason to believe that your friend Rinoa will be the one to set Astrophel free." "So what?" Seifer asked. "So what if she sets Astrophel free. What do I care?" Draven grinned. "I knew you would ask that. Funny we are so alike. But yes that's a good question. You see Ultimecia is Astrophel's Lenore. If Astrophel is set free there will be no guard to the underworld. The world will end. Only Astrophel and maybe his precious Lenore will still exist. This is the Great Hyne's creation. As much as she had cursed me with this predicament, I want to protect the world from Astrophel's narrow minded treachery." "Well," Seifer replied. "Tell me how come the Great Hyne abandoned this world if she still cared about this creation?" "She must have had her reasons but still, this is your world, young man. Don't tell me you will allow it to crumble. I'm offering you your final chance to be the hero. Don't turn your back on me." "What do you want me to do?" Seifer asked, mildly interested. "Stop your friend Rinoa. Stop her from going to Astrophel." "Why don't you do it yourself?" "I can't." Draven said, unwillingly flinching. "I tried two nights ago. She's too powerful for me. I haven't seen anyone, sorceress or monster, as powerful as she is. This can't be done by force Seifer." "So you want me to talk to her?" Seifer asked in distaste. "She's your friend. Tell her the world will end if she succeeds. She trusts you." Seifer laughed bitterly. "So this great revelation was leading up to this? Well you've found the wrong man, Drake or whatever your name is. She won't listen to me and not about this." "Well, tell her this Seifer. It's a trick. Alexandra won't bring her to free Squall. Squall is dead, he will never come back. She's bringing your friend to free Astrophel. It's a futile mission which could only end in the world devastation." "She'll never listen to me. You can just forget it." Draven was silent for a moment as he contemplated Seifer's rude words. He knitted his brows and appeared to be in deep thought. Meanwhile, Seifer's head had begun to swim. So the little brat was here to free her father. The grieving malicious orphan's new plan of wickedness. "If she doesn't listen, there is an alternate plan." Draven said.  

"It is the curse of the Great Hyne." Alexandra said without hesitation. "My father has been bounded to his place as the gatekeeper of the netherworld by the Great Hyne." "Your father?" Rinoa asked curiously as she maintained her air of seriousness that had long since chased away her jovial innocence. "Astrophel," Alexandra replied. Rinoa stood unbelievingly for a moment as that name froze her blood in their vessels. Alexandra saw the shock on her face as she quickly began to explain.

"The Loire family was cursed by the Great Hyne. My father .. " "Sent you to kill me," Rinoa answered. "No! It was Draven." "Lies," Rinoa snapped suddenly as she numbed the entire room in a deep silence. They had never seen her this way before. For once there was a undeniable sense of authority about her words. The playful child was no more. Perhaps Squall's death had taken more than just a mortal life. It took with it Laguna's unwavering good humor as well as Rinoa's untainted girlish co-dependence. It took with it Seifer's strongly fortified illusions, Quistis' sadly misguided protection. However, most of all it unleashed a domino affect, one which they would never fully understand. "I know." Rinoa said quietly. "I see it all in your mind like an open book. Astrophel entrusted you with too much." Alexandra bit her lip in a look of doubt. For once she did not control the situation with her strings. There was a new puppet master now, one which sat herself down casually on the leather couch, ignoring the presence of all the unwanted spectators about her. She saw only the little girl who had began to tremble slightly from the witch's dagger eyes. "Astrophel wanted you to kill me yet instead you killed Squall. Astrophel saw Squall as a strong warrior who could as you so poetically said 'cross the stars.' However, never expected me to survive and Squall to die. Things have always turned out the way he wanted in the past, with Raine, Julia, and so on. He never expected this." Alexandra was visibly shaking now as she clenched her fists in anger. Laguna however was unable to remain still.

"What?" He choked out. "I don't understand." The president of Esthar was watching the sorceress with begging eyes, the king of Esthar who never needed to plead with anyone. He always understood everything, from the hidden wall of illusion to Odine's latest sorceress weapon. But now he was lost and could not order her to explain. "Rinoa," Alexandra pleaded. "It was Draven who is after me." Rinoa responded. "He rigged my helicopter in his plot to put an end to my life. This was all a game between Astrophel and Draven wasn't it Alexandra? The family of Loire's existence has been your game!" "No!" Alexandra exclaimed. "It was the fault of the Great Hyne! My father had no choice and neither did I. I just wanted. . ." "To be loved," Rinoa finished for her, in complete disgust. "But it's true," Alexandra replied in tears. "I never asked for this." "Stop it," Quistis finally ordered as she strolled over to Alexandra and placed her arms around the child. "I don't understand any of this gibberish about death or the Hyne. I just want to know Rinoa, is this true? Can you bring Squall back?" Rinoa said nothing for a moment as she stared into space. With one hand she reached up and nervously began to twirl a strand of her hair. Her eyes were glittering with who knows what. Tears of joy? Of sorrow? Of weariness? Or of frustration? No one knew but then no one knew anything anymore. She had never felt so alone with a history of unholy knowledge cluttering up her mind like a ball of tangled strings. They all fit somehow but how? There was something even Alexandra did not know and that something was critical.

"Why did you keep keeping secrets from me?" Quistis asked with her voice quivering in emotion. "Why didn't you tell me when you saw his ghost? Did you enjoy watching me suffer? Do you think it is my nature to mourn? That I wear my brooding darkness like a cloak? If my pain worth less than yours?" Rinoa flinched at Quistis' accusations. She could not respond. Her mind twirled and twisted with images, strange ones which no mortal eyes were meant to see. Alexandra's thoughts came into her head like images projected onto a movie screen. Yet she could not make sense of these new revelations. They laid scattered like the torn pages of a ancient manuscript detailing the events of creation. You will never know . .never never know . .never . . know what it means .. to be human.

Those words were right and finally, Rinoa realized who spoke those words. Astrophel. He had accused the Great Hyne of the same crime that Quistis was accusing her of now. Tell me how much is one life worth? But you would never know would you Hyne? They're just insects to you, ants marching black against the earth. "I wanted to tell ..you .. Quistis." Rinoa replied with uncertainty. "Bull Shit!" Quistis snapped as she roughly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Then do it!" Alexandra yelled as she broke from Quistis' arms. "Rinoa, do it. I lied. It was all a bundle of sweet lies which I have given you. Yes I am evil, my father is the villain of this tale. But will you give up without trying? You and your talk of destiny. Well is it not the destiny of the pure untainted virgin as yourself to win? Why are so indecisive? Do you really love him as much as you claim to?" "My love is not on trial," Rinoa replied with determination that was not completely there. "But can you?" Irvine asked, being the voice of sanity in this circus. "Is it possible?" There was complete silence in the room as they waited for her to reply. Her lower lip trembled as though she was about to speak but she ran her fingers through her hair first, parting the yellow highlights from their black bed.

"Yes." she whispered under her breath."There is a way." "Then why not take it?" Alexandra added. "Because if I cross to the other side, I will set Astrophel free." Rinoa answered staring at the leather armrest of the couch. With one hand she reached up and cupped the rings around her neck. Oh it was too perfect. Astrophel's ring was around her neck, the same ring Astrophel gave so fondly to Lenore. The coincidence was too great. Astrophel and Squall, Draven and Seifer, herself and Lenore. What did it all mean? Why was there this blatant parallel. Who was directing this travesty? "But if you don't," Alexandra continued, "you will never be together again." "No I will always be with him," Rinoa replied. "Perhaps other lovers needed to be physically close to be together, but not me and Squall. Our separation only makes us stronger, wiser and more deeply in love." "Yes, Rinoa love him in memory. Perhaps that is enough for you but how about for everyone else in this room? You are not only saving the love you shared with him but the love he shared with others. Do you even care, Rinoa?" Rinoa allowed her eyes to travel about the room. She saw Laguna first, he was watching her, waiting for her decision. He could not understand her doubt as his young eyes revealed. She knew that he would give anything to be in the position she was now. Standing there in his carefree kakis and simple shirt with his muscular arm prominently displayed with the folded sleeves, he was a picture of liveliness from the neck down. His hair was shaggy as it had fallen out of his makeshift ponytail, in loose strands the fine black hung on his cheeks, concealing his darkened troubled eyes. She had not noticed before the lines on his face tracing the age which his blithe spirit had always buried.

Irvine stood next to Laguna, speechless. He wanted his leader back as Garden needed its most gifted student. He was one of those that believed that perhaps to this story there still could be a happy ending. Perhaps in that world of the lonesome cowboy riding across the desert on his steed, there was still a place where black and white could be so easily separated.

 And Quistis, standing there holding herself, keeping her eyes anywhere but upon the brunette witch. Her blond hair, a light in the darkness as some would call that symbolically. She wanted so badly to change what she never had a hand in. Rinoa felt sorry for her suddenly however, she knew then that she would not cross the stars for Laguna, Quistis or Irvine. It was something else, not so much as responsibility or love. She wanted to know. And that was the true horror of it all.

*********

A young man appeared over the hill as the sun began to descend from the sky. He strolled lazily over the too familiar path of duel hill, his gunblade casually swung over one shoulder. Glancing up at the bleeding twilight, a girl stood waiting for him. With one hand, she tucked a strand of silver hair behind an ear.

For a strange inexplicable reason, seeing him brought a feeling of serenity to her troubled bosom. Simply the sight of him pulled her back from the pit of bone and skin where all ladders lead to oblivion. She was Fujin, delicate sensible Fujin whom the world had never remembered. All she wanted was him, to have his arms around her waist, for his lips to call her beautiful.

Such an object, so strange and high.

As he came closer, she walked out to greet him since there was nothing else to do. There was never anything else to do but to strive to wander closer to him. She was like a planet revolving about the sun. Pulled close by the burning body's pull, but never to meet it in unification. Forever they must linger a fixed distance apart. "Let's go. I need to find Rinoa," Seifer ordered as he passed her side without a second glance. "FOR?" Fujin asked, lapsing back into her trite equilibrium. "For what else?" Seifer asked in irritation. "For being the evil sorceress." "KILL?" Fujin asked, abhorring the fact that she had to speak. The least words to them were too many for her. Words, they were such awful objects. The fool can seem wise if he could hold his tongue however, that was also true the other way around. She felt closer and closer to being a fool with each word she spoke. "No," Seifer replied angrily, as he continued to walk. "We need to talk to her. She's going to try to blow up the world - again!" Fujin sighed internally, externally, she merely bit her lip and held the weariness within. It was another tiresome pursuit of something which cannot be caught. Another sorceress, another mission, every one just like the one before. Nothing would ever change and he would never know how much she. .. love him? No, that cannot be right. She did not want him, did she? Did she really believe, deep beneath the self deception, beneath the self-sacrificing masochism that he would really one day, return her love?

"There is no time to waste," Seifer muttered in disdain. "C'mon, let's go find Raijin." "DORM." Fujin stated, as she watched him. He had that determined look upon his face again, the same one she had seen each and every time his dark ambition led him down a path astray. She knew somehow, watching him now, that he was going to lose some important this time. This time he would not be able to turn around and erase the wrongs. It was just a horrible feeling of foreboding in her chest and she just wished that there was some way for her to tell him that this was wrong. Yet he seldom listened to her. Hearing only what he wanted to hear, there was no talking him out of. All she could do was follow, and watch him make another pitiful wretched mistake.  :Raijin! We're going to save the world." Seifer yelled as he entered into the dorm. Raijin glanced up from his occult magazine in surprise. His plain broad face eyed Seifer with the same submissive acceptance as did Fujin's. However, he was not so willing to follow their misbegotten leader off another bridge of hapless delusion. "No! Not again! You've got to be kidding," Raijin responded in a whiny tone. "Fujin, talk some sense into him." She kicked Raijin instead but the gesture lacked force. It was based on habit instead of being an honest response. Truthfully, she only wished that she could talk sense into Seifer but no one could do that now, not when he got into one of his "zones." In a way, it was equivalent to being zoned out, however in his case it was no quiet reverie. It was a radical gut wrenching obsession whose alluring call simply must be answered. Nothing about Seifer was quiet and a flimsy word like reverie hardly suited anything he did. He was loud and dramatic, taking the center stage of this mock play. However, in a world without heroes, he could only strive to be the most misunderstood villain and that was the tragedy which his friends saw and he could not. "FOLLOW." Fujin stated gesturing with her arm. "Not me!" Raijin stated. "Not this time. I'm not coming. It's stupid, ya know." Without replying Seifer spun around and left. Fujin, casting one last indifferent eye on Raijin, followed. Shaking his head for in a moment's reflection, Raijin picked up his staff and wearily came along. *******

Silence stretched all sides out as Astrophel surveyed the mountain. In the years to come this part of the world would be desert wasteland, abandoned by the Centra, shunned by the world, populated only by the occasional jellyeye. However, now as Astrophel and Lenore stood at its peak, it overlooked a rich fertile valley speckled with trees and bushes. From where he stood, Astrophel could smell the vibrant fragrance of the most luscious fauna. It was enough to make an angel stand still in complete marvel.

"I'm scared," Lenore said as she glanced about the clearing with a less than mirthful feeling. Astrophel did not speak to comfort her. He merely looked up at the clouds and wondered if the Hyne knew they had already penetrated her lair. It was a risky change he was taking, with Lenore and with his own feeble mortal life. And then there was Draven, his unwilling friend who had betrayed the Hyne too as he opened the gates of paradise for his old equal. There was no turning back.

Astrophel walked to the center of the opened and began to holler at the mute sky.

"Hyne!" the embittered young man summoned. "Show yourself to me! I'm your knight. You uncaring god. You understand nothing about the creature you created." "Astrophel," Lenore moaned as she hugged herself in uncertain fear. Her eyes scanned the skies for a response but there was none. Serene clouds continued their course undisturbed by Astrophel's vain words. "Hyne!" Astrophel ordered once again, his eyes glittering with passionate hatred. "You will never understand what it means to be human. You cannot feel love or hatred. You are jealous of the being you created because he is better than you. Hyne! Show yourself to me!" It was then when a being appeared before them. The clouds did not part nor did a light appear as before. This time, it was quiet, almost shy appearance of the Hyne. She stood there without a word, a look of absolute frustration upon her symmetric features.

"Will you dare to accuse me, Astrophel?" She asked angrily. "Will you dare to question my judgement?" Astrophel began to pace. He glanced at her in horror and in relief. It was never easy to grasp what the Great Hyne had in mind, even harder to convince her of a different position. It was like trying to write a word in water.

"Love, tell me, have you ever felt love?" Astrophel asked her in disgust. "Mortal love, it is nothing but rubbish," the Great Hyne answered. "Do you believe that that girl loves you? Her love is no better than that of the antelope or the deer. I felt love and I felt it for you. But you betrayed me. You choose her over me!" "How could you be so petty?" Astrophel suddenly countered. "These are your children! How could you allow them to suffer and die like insects. But that's what they are to you aren't they? Insignificant bugs to be crushed under your thumb when you feel it right." "Mortal life is cheap." The Great Hyne answered. "Just like mortal love. You are the petty one, Astrophel, giving up immortality for one insignificant mortal. Such a trivial whimsical desire. You are a romantic, Astrophel, infusing emotion where emotion cannot exist." "They are no different than you Hyne," Astrophel hollered in outrage. "In heart and in mind. Yet I think I am beginning to see otherwise. It is you who cannot feel love, Hyne, and the mortal who could. For all your power and ability you will never know what it means to be human!" At that moment, The Great Hyne's rage made her swell. She abandoned the form of the human and dissipated into a huge black cloud. Her features emerged dissolving from one area of the mist to another as the sky cracked with red light. Lightening erupted from the heavens and danced along the landscape in unholy merriment. Lenore cowered in fear and even Astrophel stepped back in horror. "Then prove it!" The Great Hyne hissed. "Show me one human with which you can prove the existence of mortal love. Show me one human with which you can prove that mortal life is not worthless even to the mortals themselves. I will sentence you to penitence for eternity until you can prove both of these to my satisfaction." "How can I do that? You ask the impossible of me." Astrophel replied glaring at her in a forged facade of defiance. "You've given me no guidelines to judge them upon, nothing. How will I know?" The ground opened up under Astrophel's feet and he began to plummet into a chasm. Darkness flew past his eyes before he plunged into a body of water. His flesh slapped against the surface of the tiny lake and he was submerged in the icy depths. As he emerged from the water, Astrophel dragged himself onto a dry ledge. Glancing around him, he realized that he was in a cave. There were sharp pointed teeth-like rock formations hanging from the roof of the enclosure. It was like the monstrous mouth of a carnivorous creature. "Astrophel," the voice came again, from above. "You are to remain here, guarding the gates of the netherworld until the day when a mortal crosses the boundaries between life and death for love. When that day comes, I shall set you free. One mortal." Astrophel glanced around at his surroundings and knew that it was hopeless. No mortal could find a way here. She had given him a mission that was beyond impossibility to fulfill.

"You witch," he cursed. "You think you've won, haven't you? I despise you and your fiendish tests. All that it takes for the mortal to prove what you ask is for you to become mortal yourself. This travesty you've created is but a prison." There was silence for what seemed like an eternity and Astrophel wondered if she had left. However, he was wrong. Her voice came again, more delicate this time, more loving.

"Do you really think me so cruel, Astrophel?" She asked. "Do you really think I am a demon?" Silence. He refused to answer her.

"I'll grant you one thing, Astrophel." The Great Hyne stated. "Until the day when you are set free, I'll allow Lenore to live as many mortal lives as it takes until you complete your side of the bargain. With each life in which she lives I'll allow you to visit her upon the day of the Lunar Cry. You'll see however, in time, that her love is fleeing. That as youth beauty flees, so does your transient love, my angel." "It won't." Astrophel replied. "My love for her does not parallel the course of beauty nor time. My love is eternal is unwavering. You cannot comprehend what you've never experienced." The Great Hyne laughed in jest as she left him to his punishment. And so there Astrophel remained, in that cavern of fire and bone, until the present day.       

[Home]

[Chapter5]

If He Should Return

Part 5 - Roses and Wine

Alexandra what did your father say to you?

Nothing.

You little brat I know he told you something.

Mother, it was nothing.

What did he say?

Just an alternate plan. In case something goes wrong with what you have in store for the world.

He still dwells upon that futile mission?

The ring. He knows who is the new bearer of the ring. This time he will outsmart Draven.

A girl sat at a window holding her chin in her right palm. She made such an innocent picture. Like a little school girl dreaming of goblins and ghosts, she was dressed in a thin white dress of pink lace and ruffle. However, as Alexandra turned her face back to the room, her mind was hardly dwelling on such things. She had made a promise to her father, but which one? Her father by birth or the man who should have been her father. She rubbed her weary eyes and allowed her mind to wander over the conversations of the past. She remembered the long winded talks she had with her father, the star lover, about the Great Hyne and about the bearer of the ring. Those talks were so often grave and mournful, discussing business with a man needed her assistance.

 Just this once, help me Alexandra, my love. Then we'll be together forever. But their lives?

Whenever she said that father used to lapse into silence as they continued to walk. She couldn't remember what her father had said next. Maybe he said nothing at all. However, soon day turned to night and she was sitting beside a different man. "I'm sure someone out there loves you, Alex."

"You don't know that Squall."

She smiled mockingly to herself as she remembered that fateful conversation. There was something to do, a choice to be made. To save one would be to murder the other. That was simply the way it had to be. This was a choice only she could make, and the time was coming. Alexandra stood up from where she sat and looked around.

"Alexandra." Someone whispered. The little girl turned to see Quistis standing meekly in the shadows. The older woman looked tired now, more so than before. The regret was gathered on her face, making her seem a decade older than she really was.

"I don't understand why, Rinoa so reluctant to do this. I don't understand any of it." "It has to do with the Great Hyne," Alexandra replied absently. She wasn't really interested in explaining all this to Quistis however it appeared that the woman needed something to chew on. "I want to know the whole story, Alexandra. What do you and Rinoa know about the Great Hyne?" "The Great Hyne laid a curse upon Squall's family, Quistis, and she also laid one upon my father. Draven, her evil knight, his job is to make sure that things stay as they are and that Rinoa doesn't succeed in her mission to save Squall." "Then why doesn't Rinoa want to go through with this?" "Because my father, Astrophel, is the Great Hyne's other knight. Rinoa doesn't trust me or him for that matter. She's afraid that I'm leading her into a trap." "Are you?" "I don't know. This is a dangerous mission, Quistis. No one has done it before. Therefore in that respect, yes, I am leading her into a trap, but I'm wandering into the same predicament. I'll go all the way, Quistis, that I will not lie about." Quistis stood there unmoving for a moment. She just wanted so badly to believe that this was possible, she didn't care if it was wrong, unlawful or illogical. This was simply something she needed to see through. The little girl before her could bring about this change and for that, Quistis no longer cared what crimes Alexandra had committed in the past. She only saw what she wanted to see because if she looked at anything else she would simply go mad. "Tell me," Alexandra said suddenly. "How can you keep loving him without ever receiving anything in return? Your complete and utter disregard for your own interests intrigues me." Quistis flinched and she looked away.

"I try to stop, Alex. I've tried to stop caring about him but I can't. I find myself thinking of him all the time, as I walk down the street, as I complete my missions and as I taught my lessons. I used to smile spontaneously as I daydreamed about him, and no it was not a sexual type of fantasy. I was just the thought of him holding me, or just standing close to me. There was just something so delicately sensual about him. Perhaps it was a love born of convenience, I don't know. But I would start thinking about him all the time whether I was feeling lighthearted or melancholy, it didn't matter. One night when I was fired from my position as instructor, I thought of him first. I wanted to tell him for some odd reason because he would understand even if he would not listen. We are alike, him and I, and perhaps that's the reason why he cannot love me. We're like the two like poles of a magnet." "I see," Alexandra replied. "But this is Rinoa's duty, Quistis, maybe it's best for you to allow her to complete her mission on her own." "But will she? I don't trust her, not even now." "She will." Alexandra insisted. "She will go, I have no doubt about that." "What does she have that I don't Alex? Is she more beautiful? More deserving? More charismatic? Why is it so unfair?" Alexandra laughed bitterly to herself.

"I've asked the same question, Quistis. The very same question." ******

"So you've betrayed me too," the Great Hyne said as she approached Draven, her steadfast white knight. "I did it only for the sake of friendship," Draven replied sadly as he turned his eyes back from the valley. He shrugged thoughtlessly as he leaned against the knotted trunk of an ancient oak tree. He loved her with all consuming loyalty but there was no denying his betrayal. Astrophel loved her too, if only she could see it. However, there was no use trying to convince her. Learning from Astrophel's tragic mistake, Draven merely awaited his punishment. "Your castigation is simpler than Astrophel's but not shorter. I need you to watch over him. Make sure he does not succeed in his mission." "Why?" Draven asked, his interest increasing. "You don't intend for this to be a fair contest?" Something strange happened to the Great Hyne at that moment. She looked uncertain. For a second she bowed her head and stared at the ground as though she was in deep thought. Draven felt a slight surge of fear, greater than anything he could feel for her punishments. If she was bewildered than there was nothing in nature that was absolute. It was important to him that she always knew what to do. However, at that moment she looked simply like a lost little girl.

"I want to keep him busy, Draven, until I find out the truth behind his words. I want you to watch over him. Make sure he does not find that mortal to set him free." "Alright," Draven agreed eagerly trying to lessen her distress. "I'll take care of everything for you, don't worry about this trivial matter."  "Here" the Great Hyne said as she lifted her transparent glassy palm. Upon it laid a ring, Astrophel's ring, the one he had given Lenore. "See this?" "Yes," Draven asked, slightly puzzled. "I'm going to give this ring to the mortal which was foolish enough to help Astrophel defy my will. I will see to it that the mortal will pass this ring down from generation to generation because the bearer of this ring will be the one destined to set Astrophel free." "So Astrophel will?" "Murder members of this family in the hopes that one of them will cross the boundary between life and death to set him free." "But this was the family which. . " "Gave him aid?" the Great Hyne asked with a nonchalant glance at Draven's shock. "Let's see how genuine his love is. He will have to choose between the love he shared with Lenore and the love within that family. I have no doubt that in time he will be killing them without any remorse. Love for a mortal? It's rubbish. His own freedom would matter far more to him than the love these mortals share among themselves." "That's cruel." Draven answered with fear. "Cruel?" The Great Hyne asked curiously. "But these are mortals, Draven. You are not beginning to sympathize with them as well have you?" "No," Draven said without hesitation. "My loyalty remains to you, always to you." "Very well," The Great Hyne answered. "Then you will guard the world for me, from Astrophel's wickedness until I return. It will not be gone for long." "But. . " "What?" The Great Hyne snapped as she glared at her wavering warrior.  "Nothing," he answered and looked away. She disappeared into the breeze, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He thought that she would be gone for a decade or maybe five but he was wrong. She never returned. That was the last time he was to see the Great Hyne. From then on, year after year, Draven kept his gory promise to The Great Hyne and murdered the widows or widowers of the Loire family in the hopes of keeping Astrophel in chains a little longer. No one would cross the boundary between life and death while he was still here. No one had a remote chance of doing such an extraordinary deed anyway. He was her most loyal knight.

******

"Laguna? Are you okay?" Rinoa asked as she passed the elder man's office. He was sitting in the shadows, his face buried in his hands. For a moment Rinoa thought that it was someone else sitting at President Laguna's desk. She had never seen him look so dejected. Probably the death of an only child would have a sobering effect on anymore. "I'm fine," he answered quickly as he brushed his shaggy hair back with one hand, trying to imitate a semblance of being presentable. "Don't worry about me, Rinoa." Rinoa slipped into a seat beside him and watched him sympathetically. He looked tired, like a man who was beaten by life. However, that wasn't entirely accurate. When people say that they are beaten by life they usually mean beaten by death and that was so in this case. "I should have been there." Laguna stuttered. "Seventeen years." "Laguna," Rinoa said as she reached out with one hand. She placed it on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "You need to let go, no matter how hard it is. He's . .not coming back." "That damned curse!" Laguna suddenly exclaimed as he slammed his palm down on the desk. "It's all that curse. Of that ring! Get rid of that ring, Rinoa, before it takes your life too." Rinoa bit her lip and squeezed the double rings in her palm.

"Ellone, Squall, Raine, Julia, I've lost everything to that curse." Laguna muttered. "Ellone?" Rinoa asked curiously. "What happened to Ellone." Laguna shook his head and dragged the back of his hand under his nose. He used the tips of his fingers to pinch away his tears before they fell.

"Nothing. Don't worry about Ellone, Rinoa. You have plenty on your mind already I'm sure." "Laguna," Rinoa pleaded as he took another sip of his alcohol. "Stop, please." "Did he suffer, Rinoa?" Laguna asked quite suddenly. "Was he afraid as he laid dying in your arms?" "No," Rinoa said. "He was not afraid. He was happy." "To die?" "No, to realize that he was so loved." "I wish I could believe that, Rinoa." Rinoa sighed as she squeezed the rings still harder. Around her neck she wore the ticket to her own death as well as the means to bring back the dead. But which one was it?

"I would go . ." Rinoa began uncertainly. "I would go if it was only my life on the line, but if I succeed, the world would end. I can't do this Laguna. I can't sacrifice the lives of a billion for that of one." "I see." Laguna answered although it was clear that he didn't. "You've made a wise choice." "But not a good one." Rinoa said with a sorrowful smile upon her lips. Laguna shrugged nervously. "I understand why you have made this choice." Rinoa shook her head with resignation. "But you will never forgive me for making it." Laguna opened his mouth in surprise. "You're reading my mind." "Yes." Laguna leaned forward and touched Rinoa upon her forearm.

"I thought the very same thing Rinoa, when I left Raine. The life of one and the lives of an empire. I made a decision, the same one you are making now and I regret it every second of every day of my life. I won't tell you not to make this mistake because it is the right thing to do. But sometimes Rinoa, maybe it's better to be wrong." "I don't understand." "There are worse crimes in the world than being wrong, far worse." Laguna said wearily as he raised his bottle to his lips.[Home]

[Chapter6]

If He Should Return

Part 6 - Labyrinth

It was a lustrous morning that day which Seifer arrived in Esthar. As he walked the city blocks, he admired the pastel skyscrapers of the monstrous city. True, he had almost brought the ruin of these people with his ambitious plans. But that had changed now. He had changed. He had raged against the second coming of the sorceress and all throughout the battle he had not faltered once. Surely that counted for something. Maybe in the currency of the universe, one right cannot pay the debt left by one wrong. However, how about two? Three? Or maybe a thousand. If he spent the rest of his life repenting for that one error, maybe the debt can be repaid.

Now he needed to go save the world again from Rinoa Heartilly and her minions of misbegotten soft hearted followers.

He was jarred from his thoughts as he suddenly caught sight of Irvine standing in the entrance of the Presidential Palace. The cowboy was dressed in his usual soft canary colored garb. His floppy pants folded gracefully about his long slender legs. He was laughing. Irvine took off his cowboy hat and placed it upon a tiny red headed girl who was trying to balance herself on the narrow beams running parallel to the street.

Only Irvine, Seifer thought, would be so comfortable around an evil sorceress. Only Irvine would playfully pick up the tiny child and swing her around as though she was really a human.

"So you really will marry me when I grow up?" Alexandra asked clapping her hands together in glee.

"Of course!" Irvine promised, winking at her. "You're the prettiest little girl ever."

"You're not kidding?" Alexandra asked, placing her hands on her minuscule hips.

"I'm a cowboy. Don't you know that cowboys always keep their promises?"

Avoiding the sight of the two merry simpletons, Seifer walked into the Presidential Palace. It made him want to scuff with scorn at Irvine's casual treatment of the sorceress. He will see soon, when she led his friends into another death trap that it was all a hoax. Seifer remembered how convincing Edea had been in her distress. He will never fall into that trap again, no matter how the vulnerable the enemy seemed. That was the main flaw of good men. When they meet with evil, they would always hesitate. They would think to themselves but he's human too, he's one of us, then they would die. The good man's chief weakness is the propensity to be good.

"Seifer." Someone suddenly called out in surprise from behind.

Seifer turned to see a blond woman. Quistis. She stood with her arms folded, hair gently brushed aside by the wind, standing with her back to a window. The sun coming from her back outlined her in gold.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in surprise.

He had never answered to her in the past. Somehow, now as he felt the compulsion to give her a witty response, it just felt old. Maybe as the years pass by, people truly do change. Maybe one day she too will change and realize that Squall was never the cure of this disease. Squall was the disease. She was just to mired in her protective instinct to realize that Squall had always wanted to fend for himself.

"What's the matter, Seifer?" She asked, forming a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Is something wrong?"

He could only watch her. There was something here. A strange emotion that he had never felt for her before. He had always in the past, watched her with disgust as she went about her ill concealed love affair with Squall. He had always wanted to grab her and to slap some sense into her, wake her from that nightmare in dream's clothing. He had once felt a queer affection for Edea. He had mistaken jealousy for knighthood. He had joined Edea out of hatred for Squall, or so he had thought. Now, he began to question that cynical observation on his part.

Because now, somehow, he felt something for Quistis. Pity. No, it was not pity. Something different. He almost wanted to defend her against what was troubling her the way he had defended Edea. They were two different women of course; one defying the hatred of the world, the other defying the hatred of the one she loved.

He wanted to protect her.

No, that could not be it! Protect her? He hated her. How could he even think that? What insulting atrocities slip from the depths of his subconscious as he rode the tide of this new adventure like the most intoxicating hallucinogen.

"There is always something wrong, Quistis." Seifer replied. "There are a thousand things that are wrong. I can't begin to list all of them."

She smiled again. Not out of false greeting this time but out of understanding.

"And you've come to correct them." She said.

"Only Rinoa can correct it."

"So you've heard of the resurrection."

"All I know is that it can't occur."

She flinched suddenly as she drew her hand to mouth. Strong. Always trying to be strong. Especially here, in front of him, the evil heartless Seifer Almasy. She could pour her heart out to Squall but to him she could not even offer a glance.

"Quistis, why do you do this to yourself?" Seifer asked, more honest toward his former enemy than he had ever been. Why can't you just let him go?

"When did you start calling me, Quistis?" She asked smiling knowingly, sadly, fearfully, through her crying eyes. Her face was at war. Her mouth was trying so forcefully to appear coy while her eyes could not prevent her sorrow from overflowing. He watched this battle with sympathy. Neither side was winning.

"I used to call you Quistis when we were little remember? You weren't always the stuck up teacher."

She nodded. "That's the Seifer I know."

Yeah for a moment you actually thought I cared huh? Well I don't. Not anymore than Squall.

"Rinoa is on the third floor. Third door to the left. You should knock before you go in. She may be sleeping."

"Thanks." Seifer replied as he turned to leave. For a moment he glanced back. He felt like he should say something, maybe something funny that Irvine would say, or something stupid like would Zell would say - to make her feel better. But he was Seifer. It would be out of character.  You looked beautiful there, Quistis- for a moment, but a moment only.  

********

Seifer found the room Quistis directed him to without much trouble. He was glad that he didn't get lost. Like most men, he wasn't particularly fond of asking for directions and asking an Estharian for direction was particularly unsettling since he had unleashed a wave of monsters from the moon on their city. But even more so, he had no desire to bump into Laguna Loire: Squall's father, the president and king. So maybe Squall really was a prince.

But who was he, Seifer Almasy? He was an orphan still. While Squall had found everything he had ever wanted without even looking, he, Seifer Almasy, was still a over zealous nobody: no past, an uncertain present and a even darker future. Funny it was always the man with something to live for - who dies.

Seifer stood without moving at the witch's door. He reviewed silently in his mind that she was no longer the girl he had befriended. She was a sorceress now and it was important to remember that. Keep the black and the white separate or he might just end up dead like Squall Leonhart.

The door opened.

He had not even knocked on it.

But she knew now. Her powers, he had forgotten about her damned powers.

"Seifer?" She asked in a tone closer to sympathy than surprise or curiosity. She knew he would come somehow, he was sure of it. And now she knew exactly what he was going to say.

"I just came to talk to you." He said, pausing sporadically.

She nodded. She was listening. But he did not need to speak. She was poking through his mind, listening to the conversation he had with Draven. Oh the damnable witch.

"You are contemplating Alexandra's proposal aren't you?" He asked, feigning a guise of conversation.

She shrugged and began to twist a strand of her hair. She turned away and walked into her room. As she turned her eyes away, he grew more comfortable although he was still wary. He hated it when her eyes were on him, her evil eyes.

"Did you really think I would go through with it?" She asked, leaning against her bedpost. "Did you really think I was so selfish and so naive?"

Yes. I thought you were going to do it for fun since there was nothing good on TV. I thought you were planning to go find your Squall so that the two of you could have hot sex on top of my grave. After the world means nothing when you are in love right? Yeah go ahead, open a bottle of champagne and spray it upon the ruined world. Go toast to each others health and drink your bloody red wine. You never gave a damn anyway. Strange he had thought of wine. The drink was always associated with life and rebirth. Yes, it was the death of the world as he knew it. A new era of destruction. A new type of death. Drink your wine witch.

"Seifer," Rinoa said suddenly. "Did I really die in your eyes when I became a sorceress? Did I really cease to be the girl who was once your confident?"

"I never loved you Rinoa." He replied without emotion. Frankly, I don't know if I am capable of loving anyone but myself.

She looked up at him.

"How about Fujin. Do you love her Seifer?"

"No love is worth destroying the world for Rinoa. I don't see where you are going with this."

She shrugged. "This has nothing to do with resurrection, Seifer. "

"Then what is it about?"

"You'll see, in time."

"Why do you have to be so cryptical?"

"Rest easy Seifer. I won't risk the safety of the world. I love it too much for that." She paused for a moment. "Does this sound like something an evil sorceress would say?"

"You could be lying."

"You should be going now."

He opened his mouth to say something about how he would leave when he wanted to but he didn't. He should leave. Maybe she was using her sorceress powers to manipulate his limbs to develop a sudden desire to walk away but it was too late for that thought. He had already turned around and began to stroll toward the door. A moment before he closed the door behind him, she called out something that made the hair upon his neck stand on an end..

"Seifer, I don't drink wine."

******

Midnight. There was silence finally and it came like the sweetest nectar. All day she heard nothing but the thoughts of those around her. Laguna's newly found obsession with regret, Seifer's maze of delusion, a dozen strangers' secrets and vices. It was like being in a room full of people all trying to talk at once. In an attempt to escape, she had decided to spent her time here alone, staring out the window.

She looked to the moon for an answer. If perfection and truth were but synonyms, then the heavenly bodies in the sky were pretty apt in keeping secrets. In the past she had been able to come to a decision so readily. The time when she decided to trick Edea into wearing the Odine's bangle she had not thought about it for more than a second. Now she was sitting here, thinking and thinking without an answer and without a course of action.

Things were different now, she could hardly recognize the self that used to be.

Passing away, passing away, everything she had known has passed away. Did she even belong here now among the living? Surely those who saw the walking dead were also dead. Perhaps now, as she sat here, wishing upon the stars, she should not wish that Squall would be given life but that she should be given death. Perhaps now he was the only one who could still understand. How lonely must he have been, in place where he understood all those around him but received no understanding in return.

And Seifer, Quistis, Alexandra, all so naive as to believe that this was all about the resurrection of one man. There was something else working behind the scenes. The myth of the Great Hyne and her two knights, that was the key to all of this. Yet the story was not complete. There was a chapter still to be revealed. A chapter that she could not procure from any mortal's mind. It was written only in the mind of the Great Hyne herself and to find the end of this tragedy was to find the Great Hyne.

And yet Rinoa could not stop longing for Squall. He was with Astrophel. She was sure of that now. Draven wandered the world in futile effort to stop her from freeing Astrophel, completing what he believed was the will of the Great Hyne.

Ah human love, it was so blinding. But if there was one lesson to be learned from the myth of the Hyne that would be not to allow love to cloud your vision.

But who was she without love? Was she even Rinoa Heartilly still? She knew what the old Rinoa would do. The old Rinoa would take Alexandra to find Squall. The old Rinoa would fail in her mission. The only difference would be that this time there would be no knight to rescue her because her knight had rescued his last damsel.

She was someone else now, not Rinoa Heartilly anymore. Even the name sounded alien to her. Maybe Rinoa Heartilly died already, the day she became a sorceress in the Galbadia Garden when she inherited the sorceress powers from Edea. Maybe when she woke up in space, she woke up as a new person, a new personality.

But who was she now? A being without a name, without a past, without a future.

So now she looked up at the stars. Star light, star bright.

She did not wish for the life of the man she loved. She did not wish for death in order to be by his side. Instead, she wished for an answer to this riddle.

I want to know who I am.

*********

Laguna realized that it was useless to plead with Ellone. She sat rigid in her bed, refusing food, refusing conversation. He had never seen her this way before. What was before his joyful bouncing cherub was now little more than a zombie. Her cheeks were hollow, her eyes unfocused. She looked like a thing from a child's nightmare.

He could only reach over and try to hold her hand. She did not respond to his warm touch. Instead she simply stared straight ahead.

"Just leave me alone, Uncle Laguna." She muttered after what seemed like a decade.

"Why?" Laguna asked in a hurt voice. "What is the matter, Ellone?"

She flinched. If he had blinked, he would have missed it.

Ellone simply closed her eyes and refused to open them again. Sighing, Laguna got up and glanced toward the door. She was all he had left. Turning back Laguna patted her hand once more. There was something he should say to her, before it was too late as it had been that other time.

" I hope we can have another talk one day, a longer one than this."

"Yeah one day,"

"Ellone," Laguna whispered in a serious tone that was so unlike him. Or maybe this was what really was his self and not the other playful half. Perhaps this is what he should have been and he simply never tried hard enough.

"I don't want to lose you."

She did not answer.

"What is the cause of all this?" Laguna asked wearily. "Is it Squall? Is it me? What?" Laguna flung his arms out wearily in a helpless gesture.

*******

Ellone slipped out of bed after she was sure that Laguna was gone. It had been a long time since she walked by herself. She took it one step at a time and soon her feet fell into their old rhythm. She had to get up now, to change the past. This time it would not be through the dreamworld. This time, she knew another way.

She would not let Squall die. Raine, her Raine had died without a husband because he had left to save one little undeserving orphan child. No, no more! Ellone would have it no more. Rinoa Heartilly was a witch, a witch who would never know what it means to be human.

Ellone crept into the hallway, leaning against the wall, taking shelter in the shadows. It was midnight; there was silence at last.

Love, that was all the Great Hyne said. The only prerequisite was mutual love to end death. No, she did not need a ring. The Great Hyne was a liar. Perhaps Rinoa was simply too preoccupied with Draven's illusions or maybe she simply did not care. How could she care? Why would she risk her life for a man who did not even love her?

Ellone's mind was in a feverish state. She felt as though someone had opened the top of her head and filled the insides with cotton. There was a steady pounding at her temple. She was not ready to get out of bed. In the past when she had taken Squall back to the Winhill of seventeen years ago, the headache had not been so bad. She had been able to shake off the effects within an hour or two. But now, Rinoa had forced her back to the beginning of time.Ellone stumbled drunkenly down the empty corridor. No one was in sight. It was relief and a vexation. She almost wished for someone to catch her and carry her back to bed. She almost wanted to confess to Uncle Laguna what she wanted to do. But no, he would not agree. He would not sacrifice one daughter for one son.

The pulsating pain in her temple was growing. It was digging its roots deep into her brain. She could feel it burrowing into the very center of her psyche. She leaned against the wall to take a deep breath. She looked down at her blue shirt that blurred into her white skirt. Glancing up she realized that she was there, Quistis' bedroom.

***********

Quistis sat at her vanity table brushing her long blond hair. It was loose about her shoulders in a protective cloak. She could feel the strands stroking her shoulders, her bare back, gently as though it cherished her.

She had never been fond of mirrors. The one she had her dorm room, she covered. People often asked her why. You are beautiful they say, or rather - you are not ugly. But it was because of that beauty for which she hated that mirror. When she looked upon herself, she saw such a pretty picture. A girl with hair so light, it lit up the darkest room. Her eyes, two perfect ovals, as mysterious as those of a cat. She could not stand it because looking upon that reflection she could no longer convince herself that she was unwanted. And for a brief moment, she did believe that she deserved all that which they've given her and more. But when she looked away, she became ugly again. The ugliest girl in the world, she used to mutter to herself when she was alone. She had no one and no one wanted her.

The mirror was a liar.

So she covered it.

It could lie to her no more.

Then came a knocking upon her bedroom door.

Quistis opened it, wondering who would show up at this hour of the night. However, glancing at the clock, she realized that it was only half past ten. It was Rinoa.

"Quistis," she said shyly, "I need to talk to you."

"About what?" Quistis asked, slightly suspicious.

"I'm going to be leaving tomorrow," Rinoa replied. "I'm going home."

Quistis nodded. Home. Oh yes, Rinoa was the one who still had a home.

"You wanted to know about the Great Hyne."

Quistis stepped back and allowed Rinoa into the room.

"I'm perplexedWhy would the Hyne have knights? The Hyne was male. He fought many monsters and lost his power to the people."Rinoa smiled shyly, almost knowingly. "No, the Hyne never fought anything herself. She created the world. Wouldn't she have created these monsters herself?"

"Then where do these stories come from?"

"What people have seen of the Hyne's knights. It was her knights that fought the monsters. When they say that the people made the Hyne give up half his body, they meant that the Hyne gave up one knight. Astrophel fell from grace and therefore he was 'given' to the people. The people never saw the Hyne herself. There is no recording of her in your histories. She didn't allow it."

"But you know this is true?"

"Yes, I know, Quistis. When the myths say that the Hyne became weak after fighting the monsters, they mean that the two knights no longer agreed on their objective. One of them began to defy the Hyne and therefore the forces of the Hyne became weak. They say that the half of the Hyne which ran away had the stronger magic because the knight that was given to the people had no magic. The knight's magic was always under the control of the Hyne."

"And so is the Hyne still here?" Quistis asked, her interest growing. "Our magic, that of the sorceress, does the Hyne allow us to have this magic?"

"No, that I do not know." Rinoa said. "The Hyne disappeared. She is no longer here. All that is left are her two knights. Astrophel and Draven, here still, guarding the world. One king of the land of the dead, the other guardian of the land of the living. However, the true ruler is gone."

"I see," Quistis said. "But I do not understand this. Why is it forbidden to bring back the dead?"

"Because," Rinoa replied. "The only way such a phenomenon could occur is to reverse the world of the living and that of the dead. Bring back one dead soul and there will be no more guardian of the gates of the netherworld. Can't you see that all the spooks of the dead will be released if this should occur?"

"I see." Quistis replied quietly.

"But you will still hate me for not trying." Rinoa responded.

Silence.

"Don't you think," Rinoa continued, "That I want him back too? That my love is as strong and as loyal as your own?"

Quistis looked down.

No.

Rinoa smiled sadly. "I've tried, Quistis. I always try. I've changed, haven't you noticed? I'm no longer the girl I used to be."

But what you've turned into is worse than what you were before.

Rinoa looked down for a brief moment and wondered. Only for a moment, how things would be like if Squall should return. If only things could go back to the way it used to be. What if she died instead? And she would give her life if he could live. Would he find love? With Quistis perhaps? Would he find everything which he needed? If only she was gone?

Rinoa turned to leave.

********

After Rinoa left, Quistis sat down upon her bed and hugged her pillow. It was over. In the end, nothing would change. It would always stay the same. Day in, day out, the same old rules that can't be broken. Death can't change. To the hell with the Great Hyne. It did not matter, not to her.

"Quistis?" Someone asked.

Quistis looked up and saw a girl leaning against her door frame. Ellone.

"Ellone?" Quistis asked. "I thought Laguna said that you weren't feeling well."

"I'm better now." Ellone said, waving her hand. "Let's go, I need to get to the Deep Sea Research center. You know how to pilot the Ragnarok right?"

"Yes," Quistis answered uncertainly. "But why? At this time of the night? It's midnight."

"This is the only time!" Ellone said, raising her voice and then lowering it again, glancing around in fear. "Please, Quistis, for Squall's sake, let's go now. Please. If they find me, they won't let me go through with it."

"They?"

"Uncle Laguna, Rinoa, the others, especially Rinoa. Please. You want to see him don't you?"

"But, Rinoa she said that the world would end."

"No," Ellone said without hesitation. "She lied. I know the myth of the Hyne better than she does. She misunderstood what the Hyne said. Rinoa is a sorceress, Quistis. She can't understand what it means to love."

"Ellone." Quistis said trying to calm the hysterical girl.

"Don't you see?" Ellone asked on the brink of tears. "She's on the Hyne's side. Sorceresses they stick together. Sorceresses can't love anything but their own power. The old Rinoa is dead but that doesn't matter. We can do this Quisty, the two of us."

To succeed there has to be mutual love. I'm sorry, only I can go.

No Rinoa, Quistis realized. There was another one. Ellone. Mutual love. This was a chance too good to pass up on.

Taking Ellone's hand, Quistis led her into the hall.

"Come on, before we go, there is a little girl we are taking with us, a guide."

[Home]

[Chapter7]

If He Should Return

Part 7 - And the Opposition of the Stars.

"They're gone!"

"What?"

"The SeeD, the ship, Ellone, the little girl!"

"President Loire? He must be a wreck."

"He sent the entire air force out searching. There is no sign of them."

Rinoa woke up the titillating whispers of the maids outside her door. She rolled over and slipped out of bed. Somehow as she got up she knew that the news was not good. She got dressed and stood there for a moment. She knew it was coming. The whispers outside of the door hushed and there was just a solitary voice.

"Rinoa, I have something for you."

Rinoa looked up at Laguna who was standing at her door. He had a stack of paper in his hand.

"Rinoa, do you know where they went? Any idea at all?" He asked as he handed her the papers. Rinoa looked down and realized that he had given her Ellone's diary.

Flipping it open, she immediately saw Astrophel's name written on the margins of one the sheets.

I can't stand it anymore. The nightmares are driving me insane. Every night she takes me back there to the beginning of time, stretching my powers beyond their capabilities. For what? For truth? For a way to bring back the one I love? I thought that at first and I allowed her to posses me. But now I see. She had no intention of using my powers for such a altruistic end. She wants only knowledge and power for herself. And in that end, she is willing to destroy me.

Rinoa flipped past a couple of pages. But she had seen enough. Her eyes blurred over the sheets. So Ellone had known and Squall was right. It was the dreamworld she had been taken to. But it was not Ellone taking her there. She was the one who wanted to go there, to the past. And now Ellone was going to go bring back Squall.

That could not be allowed to happen. Not before she saw the final part of the story.

But life never happens the way you want, does it?

"I know where they are," Rinoa said to Laguna. "I can help you find them."

***********

"The girl is a liar" Draven said as he watched the crewmen preparing the helicopter. "She's going to complete it."

"No." Seifer responded, squinting in the sun. "She wouldn't."

"What? Did you actually believe what she said?" Draven asked lighting up another cigarette. He exhaled the cloud of smoke and smiled wickedly. "You are pathetic."

"I'm tired of this." Seifer replied glaring at Draven. " If you want her then go get her yourself."

"Well, if you don't care about Rinoa, how about your friends?"

"What?" Seifer asked turning around.

"I sent them out for a trip last night." Suddenly Draven's form shifted. His clothing turned into a knee length trench coat. His pants were black and in his hand there was a Hyperion just the same as the one which Seifer held.

"Fujin." The man said in a sincere voice. "Follow the instructor. Stop her."

Seifer merely stared unable to speak. Draven then shifted easily into an Estharian soldier, a Galbadian civilian, a fisherman and finally back to Seifer's form. "It would be a pity wouldn't it, Seifer, if this form were to appear at Balamb and to begin massacring SeeDs?"

"You-"

"Hush," Draven said to Seifer's infuriated visage. "I just have one job for you now little knight. It's not a hard one. Do it and I'll make you a hero. It's not too late Seifer. Fail and I'll make you the enemy of the world."

"What is it?"

"Kill Alexandra"

*************

Fujin stood at the fork of the cave with shivers running down her spine. Beside her Raijin was curing under his breath about the entire mission. She kicked him again although it wasn't doing much good. She was on the verge of complaining herself. What business did they have down here even below the depths where the scientists have gone. She leaned against a wall and listened to the conversation on the other side.

"Let's just rest .. for a little while." Ellone whispered in a weary voice.

"It's right down there," the little girl said, breathlessly as she too was exhausted. "We're almost there."

Fujin heard a low rumbling from within in the cave. She turned to Raijin who had a terrified expression on his face.

"It's a Blue Dragon." He whispered. "Sounds like there are more than one of them."

Fujin shook her head. "The rodents getting too close to where they want to go." She said gesturing to the group.

"So what are we going to do?" Raijin asked helplessly. "We're not going to fight them here! It will attract the monsters, ya know?"

Fujin paused.

"If we set a fire here, it will drive the Blue Dragons to move away. They'll go to the other opening which is where they are."

"That's brilliant!" Rajin exclaimed but then quickly lowered his voice.

"QUIET." Fujin muttered before she looked fearfully down the mouth of the cave.

************

Meanwhile from the depths of the cave a being was waiting. For centuries he had waited for this moment. The bearer of the ring was drawing near. He could feel her soft flesh in his claws. Yet she disturbed him. Something about her, the way she moved, the tone she spoke with even the gestures of her hands. It reminded him so much of Lenore. The Lenore of the ancient days. There was something eerie about this scenario. As though someone were directing a travesty of what happened so long ago.

He waited.

For her.

At last.

Draven could not stop her. She was too powerful, even for him. The damned bastard. But this could not be. Finally he would win the sadistic game which the Great Hyne had established. He would beat her. But would he? Who is able to beat the Great Hyne? The all knowing, all seeing, Hyne who had created the world and created himself.

But he had.

She was coming.

For him.

But how could it be? The Great Hyne had let him win? No, that wasn't right. Somehow he knew for certain that the Great Hyne was going to make an appearance soon. Would she appear and strike Rinoa Heartilly dead? But that was against the rules. Even she had to play by the rules. The rules said that he was winning. But this was the Great Hyne's game. No one won unless it was by her decree. How could this be?

It did not matter.

She was coming.

At last.

*********

"It's this way," Rinoa said to Laguna and his small circle of troops as they stood at the opening on the bottom level of the research center. It was a cave that had been blocked with a steel door. The combination had been entered a few hours ago as Ellone had gone through it with Quistis and Alexandra.

Rinoa stood there for a moment and looked down. Familiar. This place seemed familiar to her. The walls of this cave. Rinoa turned to Laguna who was staring at her wondering why she was not entering the cave.

"I must go alone."

"What?" Laguna asked in complete shock. "Rinoa."

She lifted her hand for silence.

"I must. I'll find Ellone. I'll deliver her safely to you. Promise."

"But-"

What about Squall? Rinoa knew that was what he wanted to say although he was too polite to say it.

Why take home one when there can be two? We've come all this way right?

"Laguna," Rinoa responded. "I'll take care of it."

"There are monsters down there, Rinoa. I know I'm an old man. My fighting days are over but take my troops with you. I don't like the idea of a little girl like you running around alone down there."

Rinoa smiled woefully.

"Laguna." Rinoa pleaded. "But I'm not a girl, Laguna. I'm a sorceress, remember?"

Laguna was silent for a moment.

"But I still don't like it." He grumbled.

Rinoa walked over and hugged him. She held him tightly for a moment then allowed him to go free.

"You come back safely with hi-her, I mean" Laguna said but blushed as he realized the slip of his tongue.

Rinoa stared at him for a moment. Merely absorbing his words. With him. Come back with him. Do you know how much I would love to come back -with him?

"Goodbye Laguna," Rinoa said as she turned toward the cave.

***********

Quistis heard a sound coming. It was a dull sound at first. Like the humming of a bee. Then it grew louder. The floor under her began to shake. Earthquake? No. It couldn't be. She looked over at Ellone and Alexandra who were sitting quietly, catching their breaths. She was a SeeD, this short walk did not tire her. Yet that sound.

"Get up," Quistis commanded suddenly. "Get up now!"

"Huh?" Ellone asked her face a perfect look of surprise.

"Go, run."

And then she saw it. The head of a blue dragon coming her way. Quistis whipped out her weapon and cracked it on the ground. She would not be able to fight more than one alone. With a swing of her arm, Quistis brought her whip across the monster's flank, cutting deep into the flesh. Yet the monster raged on and snapped its jaws in hungry lust.

Before Quistis could get her whip into position once more, the monster slashed her across her arm. She began to bleed. However, suddenly, there was a yellow explosion where the monster stood. The blue fiend was burnt to ashes in the amber flames.

Quistis whipped her head around and saw Rinoa beside her.

"Take Ellone and Alexandra and run!" Rinoa ordered. "There are more coming. I'll hold them"

"No," Quistis said as she continued staring into the darkness waiting for the next one to appear. "You run, I'll hold them off."

"I'm a sorceress!"

"I'm a SeeD."

"Quistis!" Rinoa exclaimed. Her voice calmed. "Look, you're bleeding. Go. This is no time to bicker."

Quistis glanced at Rinoa. Her will faltered.

"I'll come back. After I take them somewhere safe."

"I won't have all the fun without you." Rinoa assured her.

**********

"SEIFER!" Fujin called out as she saw her blond friend appear near the fork of the corridor. He was here. She felt a wave of relief wash over her. And it was true finally. She did love him. Because he came when she needed him. Because he was here when no one else was. Because he was the only one who had her complete and untainted trust. If he needed to destroy a sorceress, a child, a teacher, to get what he wanted, it would still be alright. Because his dream was pure, the only pure thing she had ever known. Because she loved him for his idealistic innocence. Because she would give up her moral, her judgment and maybe even her life itself for him.

"What's going on?" Seifer asked glancing around. "Where's Raijin?"

"He went after the instructor and the girl. We sent a swarm of Blue Dragons after them."

"I need to find the girl. Alexandra."

"THAT WAY" Fujin said pointing at the left tunnel.

Fujin glanced back as she heard a low growling from the cave behind her.

"What's that?" Seifer asked looking at the direction where the noise had come from.

Fujin shrugged.

"Go Seifer." She said. "Hurry, they're getting away."

Seifer nodded as he began to walk down the tunnel. That was when suddenly a red headed beast leapt out. Seifer jumped back as he realized that the monster had cut him off from Fujin.

It was a ruby dragon.

The fire. The fire that frightened away the Blue Dragons had lured a Red one.

Seifer glanced at Fujin who was backing away from the dragon her pinwheel held in position. Then he looked into the other direction where he suddenly heard a loud girlish shriek. Alexandra. He could almost see her long flaming hair in the darkness of the tunnel. The red dragon and the red hair. He could choose only one.

************

Fujin almost called out his name.

He stood there, beyond the beast.

He hesitated for a moment.

And then she saw his back. He ran away. Just like her parents. He ran away. For a dream. The dream that saved her was also the dream that forsook her. There was some kind of irony in that but there was no time to think. Fujin stepped back, jumping out of the way of the dragon's claws. She cast Tornado on the beast but he merely absorbed it and became stronger. She felt fear petrify here where she stood. She couldn't move.

But she was not the child she used to be.

She had trained at Garden. She was a warrior now. She had to live through this. She couldn't die. Yes, she would live to the sunlight. She would not die here in this dark catacomb. She raised her arm, prepared to throw the pinwheel when the dragon smacked her with its claws, throwing her across the room. Her cheek bled. She got up onto her knees and flung the pinwheel squarely at the dragon's chest drawing a deep gorge in its flesh. It howled in pain and came after her with more ferocity.

Fujin got up to her feet. She would not die here. Not without seeing the light one more time. She would not.

"RAGE" She said to the beast. Yes, she would rage against it. She hurled her pinwheel into its eye.

It screamed once again and backed away.

But, that retreat was simply to catch her off guard. It came once more, with more viciousness then before.

"Ultima!" Fujin said and cast a yellow explosion upon the monster.

It collapsed and was still.

She had won.

She couldn't believe it. She had defeated the dragon all by herself. There was no need for Seifer. The ruby dragon was dead. It was really dead!

Fujin stumbled up to the corpse and began to steady her breathing. She would see the sunlight again. There was no doubt now. She stood there with such glee that she did not notice the dragon open its eyes.

The huge claw came upon her before she even realized that the thing had moved.

************

Seifer bumped into Raijin as he was running in retreat. In his arms was a bundle of rage. Alexandra. Behind, in pursuit were Ellone and Quistis.

"Ouch!" Raijin yelled as Alexandra bit his thumb.

Seifer grabbed the child before she could escape and held her tightly with both hands.

"You little monster!" Raijin cursed at her as he shook his hand in pain.

"Seifer!" Quistis exclaimed. "Let her go."

"She's just a little girl." Ellone pleaded looking sicker than ever.

"You big meany!" Alexandra shrieked as she wiggled in Seifer's arms.

"Oh yeah?" Raijin asked. "Well you're a bonehead!"

"Pig!"

"Stinky!"

"Shut up!" Seifer yelled at the two. "Dammit you're giving me a headache."

"She started it!" Raijin whined.

"Shut up!" Seifer repeated as he drew his Hyperion up to Alexandra's pale neck.

"Seifer!" Quistis screamed.

Seifer paused.

"Don't." Quistis said.

"Why not? She killed Squall. Almost succeeded in killing the rest of us. Give me one good reason why not!"

Silence.

"See?" Seifer asked as he dug his blade deeper into the child's neck. "She is the cause of all our problems. She is the villain, always has been and always will be!"

"Wait." Ellone said as held Seifer in her glaze. She was trembling. "Seifer, spare her. She's-" Before she could finish her sentence, Ellone's eyes suddenly closed. She dropped to her knees and finally to the ground. She laid there and moved no more.

In shock, Seifer lost his gripe on Alexandra. Quistis and Raijin ran to Ellone's side.

"Is she alright?" Raijin asked as he helped Quistis roll Ellone over.

"I don't know." Quistis whispered, tearing up. "I don't know!"

In a trance, Seifer walked up to them. He bent over Ellone and watched Quistis' futile efforts to revive her.

"Wake up." Quistis begged.

"Will this help?" Raijin asked as he lifted a phoenix down from his pocket. He waved it under Ellone's nose.

Ellone flinched and opened her eyes.

"Seifer?" She said quietly.

"Sis." Seifer said, revealing a tender side of himself that the others had yet to see.

Ellone reached out and took Seifer's hand and held it tight.

"Don't kill Alexandra, Seifer. She'll bring Squall back. She will."

Seifer was speechless for a moment and then he nodded.

"I see. I don't know that."

"Squall." Ellone whispered to Seifer. "I want to see Squall again."

"You will," Seifer promised as he patted her hand. "Just get some rest sis. When you wake up you'll see him."

Ellone nodded and drifted back to sleep.

Seifer wiped his eyes, trying to conceal it from Raijin and Quistis.

"Raijin." Seifer ordered.

"Yea?"

"Take her out of here. Go."

"But . ."

"I need to go get Fujin." Seifer replied. "I'll come after you after I find her. Take Ellone to Laguna and give her over to them."

Raijin nodded obediently and picked up Ellone.

"See you then, Seifer." Raijin said with a timid smile on his dark face.

After he left, Seifer stood there unmoving for a moment. He saw Quistis smiling shyly at him as well.

"I didn't do this out of the goodness of my heart you know." Seifer countered ineffectively.

"I know." Quistis replied, still smiling. "You don't need to explain. I know why you did it." She got up and to his annoyance, patted him on the shoulder. "Get going Seifer, Fujin must be getting tired of waiting for you."

**************

Rinoa cast another string of meteors on the advancing beasts. Their screams died as the remaining dragons began to flee for fear of her wrath. She stood there alone as she heard tiny footsteps coming near.

Alexandra.

She ran up to Rinoa and grabbed her by the edge of her frock.

"Help!" She demanded breathlessly. "There's someone after me."

"There's no one." Rinoa reassured her as she glanced down the dark tunnel from which Alexandra came.

"Really?" A voice asked from behind.

Rinoa spun around while Alexandra grabbed her bare legs and shrieked.

It was a man, a blond one with that too familiar cross on his neck. Rinoa smiled. Yes she knew who he was. Draven. She recognized him from the dreamworld. Yet there was something else. He looked more cynical than he did in her dreams. The look in his eyes reflected his age although he dwelled in the body of the eternal young. In his spotless white clothing he was practically a beacon in the darkness.

"So we meet at last." Draven said as he flicked some ash from his cigarette. "It's a pleasure, Ms. Heartilly."

"What do you want?" Rinoa asked as she realized that she could not read his mind. He was the knight of the Great Hyne. That was probably the reason.

"The girl. Give me the girl."

"No." Rinoa said abruptly.

"You don't want to fight me, Rinoa Heartilly." Draven replied. "I was with your mother when she died. She was crying for you, Rinoa. But you came too late didn't you? She was already dead. She died because Astrophel killed her. And it's his daughter whom you are protecting now."

"Rinoa!" Alexandra moaned.

"No!" Rinoa replied. "Astrophel killed because he was forced to. This is the fault of your mistress."

Draven's brows furrowed.

"You will not desecrate the name of the Great Hyne."

"And you still defend her?" Rinoa asked. "Would she have left you here to rot if she truly cared for you Draven?"

Draven began to grow red with fury.

"I wasn't planning to kill you but I'll have your head for that insult mortal."

"Alexandra, run." Rinoa whispered and then turned her attention back to Draven."A mortal? You just tried to insult me by calling me a mortal?" Rinoa asked in confusion and humor.

"Your power was given to you by the Great Hyne." Draven continued. "That's why you are called the descendent of Hyne. You have abused that power just like the Sorceress Ultimecia. The power of the sorceress is to protect the planet not to destroy it!"

"So for that-"

"Your penalty is death." Draven finished for her.

"But you can't kill me, Draven." Rinoa said. "Although, you could try."

"You are a mortal. You may posses the power of a god but you can die, Rinoa Heartilly. You want to be with your beloved Squall? There is a way easier than resurrection!"

Rinoa shielded her face in futile defense as Draven a series of spells upon her. Draven began with weak spells as Ultima but he quickly realized that they alone would not bring her down. She truly did have the power of a god. Alexandra, Adel, Ultimecia: their powers were all within her. Yet even so, she should not be able to withstand so much.

Draven finally ceased his efforts as he began to pace around her. He was perspiring noticeably.

Her eyes were closed, as though she was meditating. Draven growled in anger. He pulled out a dagger from his boot and attacked her with it. He met with a force-field that sent him pivoting backwards.

"Bitch," he swore.

"Have you given up yet?" She asked. "I am weary of this battle."

Draven was silent as he got up to his feet. He noticed her arms. There were laces of gold tracing their way down her elbow onto her forearm. Those same laces of gold were slithering down her waist onto her thighs and her calves. He had not seen anything like that, not on mortal or sorceress.

It was then when he understood that she was neither.

"You are the Great Hyne." Draven whispered.

*************

Seifer felt a sickening feeling growing in his chest as he turned into the mouth of left cave. He had left Fujin here, with the Ruby Dragon. He knew that she would be alright. She was a fighter. Or did he know? Maybe he just left her here to die because he did not care. He was willing to sacrifice everything for his dream, even her.

He saw her, under the light of the dying fire. She laid on her side, her face against the wall. Bleeding. She was lying in a puddle of blood.

"Fujin." Seifer gasped under his breath as he rushed to her side. She was still warm. Alive. He rolled her over. She bled onto his coat. He sucked in a breath as he looked at her face. The left side of her face was a mass of gore. Her eyepiece had fallen from its place. He could see the wrinkled skin where she had lost an eye so many years ago. That was the side of her face still left undamaged.

"Seifer," she whispered. She smiled or tried to smile. "You came back."

He picked her up easily. She was light, so light. The blood dripped in rivers onto his arms and coat. Her side was ripped open by the dragon, the flesh of her body had been shredded by the razor sharp claws.

"I want to see the light." Fujin muttered. "I can't see anything, Seifer. It's so dark."

Seifer glanced at the light that was shining full on her face.

"It's okay. I'll take you outside." He promised, on the verge of tears. "Hang on."

She nodded and pressed her undamaged cheek against his breast.

"I want to see the sun, Seifer. It .. it reminds me of you."

Seifer began to walk. He carried her out of the cave, into the research center. He realized that her body was growing cold and her labored breathing had stopped. He kept walking; walking and walking until he stepped into the sun. He realized then that she had died more than an hour ago.

[Home]

[Chapter8]

If He Should Return

Part 8 - Hyne

The light stung his eyes when it first came. Squall raised his hand to shield his face as the doorway of the cavern opened. There stood a figure of a man. It reminded him of the trashy images in the Occult Fans that his friends so lovingly collected. The pictures of the light at the end of the tunnel. There was a dark image that was steadily drifting closer. Beside her son, Raine stood without a sound as she was captivated by this mysterious visitor.

However, as Squall's eyes adjusted to the brightness, he began to pick up features. The man had soft plain features that were forgettable. He had a square chin, brown eyes, hair the color of coal. "Mister Loire," the man said in bittersweet greeting. "So we meet again." Squall eyed him suspiciously but did not answer.

"You won't answer me?" The man asked, vaguely amused. "I'm keeper of the dead." "So it was you on the helicopter," Squall said scornfully. "Ah, no." The man corrected. "That was Draven, the villainous man who is helping your lover, Rinoa Heartilly." "What?" Squall asked suddenly stirred by what the man was telling him. "Come on follow me, Squall Loire. I want to tell you about the past. I'm afraid things have become much more muddled." Glancing back once at his mother, Squall followed the man out of the prison chamber. Uneasily, the teenager walked with the man into a dim hallway of stone.

"Rinoa Heartilly, she's not who you think she is." Astrophel began in a tone that one would use to tell a terminally patient that he was about to die.  "Do you mean that she's a sorceress?" Squall asked, frowning impatiently. "No." Astrophel replied. "No. She is far more than that." "Then who is she?" "The murderer of your mother and yourself." "What?" Squall asked with increasing fury. "What kind of mind game are you trying to play on me?" "None." Astrophel answered as he led the young man into an opening. There in the middle of the room Astrophel gestured to an invisible wall. "Touch it, Squall." Squall reached toward the point Astrophel was gesturing to but he drew his hand back almost instinctively.

"What's the matter?" Astrophel asked. "It burns." Squall replied rubbing his fingers together. Astrophel smiled knowingly. "It's the wall between the living and the dead. You can't pass this wall because you are dead." "I know that. What does this have to do with Rinoa?" "Well," Astrophel said. "I'm going to help you avenge your mother's death, Squall." "Why should I believe you?" "You will see. Rinoa killed your family, Squall. In fact, she's the reason behind every tragedy that has ever befallen your family. One of your ancestors did a favor for me a long time ago. Now I want to return that favor; I'm going to help you kill her." **********

At his words, she began to remember.

It came slowly at first, one image at a time. Then it exploded inside of her and she recalled everything.

She had gone to the peak of her mountain and looked down that day after speaking to Draven. She had wondered if Astrophel's revelations were true. She loved him and although stubborn, he was perceptive. She began to doubt her own judgment. And then, she entered into the flesh of an unborn mortal.

For just one mortal life, she told herself. Just one. But she had forgotten who she was. Life over life, she was born and reborn, never remembering, never knowing who she truly was. Yet as much as she wanted to return to the position of the Hyne, at the same time she was unsatisfied with her mortal lives. She wanted to know what Astrophel described and she couldn't do that any other way but to become Lenore. And so she did.

She directed a future for herself that would mirror the lifeline of Lenore. Seifer she had cast as Draven and Squall as Astrophel. This was her play. And now finally she was satisfied because she finally discovered what it meant to love. Astrophel was right, it was all consuming. But she had chosen the wrong actor for the role of the black knight. She chose the descendent of the Loire family. And now she was to be the one who would set Astrophel free.

But she couldn't stop now nor could she leave this mortal body. She did not know how. She opened her eyes and saw Draven standing there where he was firing off spells at her only a minute before.

To her surprise, he kneeled.

"Draven." Rinoa muttered in amazement. "I'm here to do your bidding, Hyne." Rinoa hesitated.

"I bid you to allow me to continue on my mission." She ordered tentatively. "If that is what you wish." Rinoa paused. She watched him, her angel, there and she felt a resurgence of love. Yes she had always loved him, him and Astrophel. He would be loyal to her till the end.

Yet it was true that she also feared him.

"I'm going to go find him." Rinoa said to Drave with more determination in her voice. "I need him." "Squall Leonhart?" Draven asked. "Or should I say Squall Loire?" Rinoa flinched at his words.

"I guess in the end, I am as weak as Astrophel, if not more." "No, you are not weak, you are breathtaking." Draven said in the most respectful tone he had used all day. "May I accompany you to find this young man?" "No," Rinoa replied without hesitation. "I'll be fine on my own." She smiled weakly, politely and turned. She began to walk away swiftly, glad that the nasty confrontation had ended so peacefully. "Leave me, Draven." Rinoa answered from the mouth of the cave. "Just leave me." Rinoa found Alexandra beside Quistis. They looked different to her. She felt detached from all of this as though she was merely a spectator watching the flow of human life. Her mind blurred in and out and as much as she tried to feel human again, it slipped away. If only she could pretend for a little while and forget about Draven's revelation. But she could not. For fear. She was afraid that if she was human again even for a second, she would grow too comfortable in that thought and forget who she was. "Alexandra," Rinoa called out. "I need your help. I want you to help me find Squall." Quistis smiled. She could not help it.

"So you will do it, Rinoa?" Quistis asked with goodwill in her voice. There was something else too - acceptance? "I must hurry." Rinoa answered holding Quistis' eye with hers. "We mustn't keep him waiting." "I guess you have no need of me, anymore." Quistis said. "No, I need you to go find Laguna. Tell him to bring a helicopter to the Centra Ruins, the caves near Odine's Tower. We'll meet you there when this is all - finished." **********

"I won't believe you." Squall answered. "You're just like your daughter Astrophel. You twist things to your own aims. Well I've learned well from Alexandra. I won't believe your lies about Rinoa." "Really?" Astrophel asked unbelievingly. "What if these 'lies' came from her own lips. Would you believe it then?" Squall did not answer but continued to resist the man's radical assertions. "You do not answer because you do not know." Astrophel said with ease. "I know. I've known her since the beginning of time and no one knows her as thoroughly as I know myself. I will show you all the crimes your lover committed against you and you will believe. I promise." It was when Squall turned his attention to the other side of the chamber when he saw a flash of blue. His first impulse was to believe that it was indeed Rinoa but he was wrong.

"Fujin?" Squall knitted his brows in confusion. She did not recognize him. Fujin was walking weakly, stumbling forward, as though something was pulling her toward the other side of the room, his side of the room. "Fujin!" Squall called out as she neared the center. "Stay away from the wall! Stay away!" His calls were futile. Fujin stepped across the boundary without a single glance in his direction. The wall opened up and swallowed her form. It was almost as though she stepped through a barrier made of water. "Don't waste your energy," Astrophel advised. "She's already dead. She can't hear you anyway. You are with me. She can't see us." "How did she die?" Squall asked with less urgency in his voice. "She was attacked by a dragon. It's a pity. Mortals live and die such tragic lives and the Great Hyne does not care. I care, Squall. You and I, we are a lot alike." Astrophel paused, as though he was recollecting some distant memory.

"You are such a remarkable mortal, Squall. When you rescued her from the sorceress memorial, when you died so that she could live; you never ceased to amaze me. I think I see now, why she chose you." "Chose me?" Squall asked in confusion. "Yes, the Great Hyne chose you but she never loved you. You were simply an actor in a role, my role. I pity you, Squall Leonhart. Your passion, your strength, your dark philosophy; you are a masterpiece of creation. But in the end, you were simply an actor chosen to play me." [Home]

[Chapter 9]

If He Should Return

Part 10 - Astrophel and Lenore

"It's loosening!" Alexandra cried in glee as she tried her best to pry the rock from its place among its brothers. Rinoa squinted in the dim light and gave the rock one last yank. The stone tumbled down. Rinoa skipped out of the way before it could crush her toes.

"We can fit through that opening," Rinoa muttered as she slipped her head through the hole.

Thank god, I haven't been eating well lately. Rinoa mused as she tried to drag her hips through the hole. With a desperate pull, she was through. Rinoa toppled onto the slimy rock surface. Glancing around, making sure that there weren't any monsters lurking about, Rinoa reached back to help Alexandra through.

The little girl squeezed herself through without much effort. She landed on her feet and brushed a handful of gravel out of her curls.

"Watch out, there's something here." Alexandra called out as she peered around nervously.

"In the center of the room." Rinoa mused. "It's hard to see."

Holding her Blaster's Edge ready, the girl in blue crept toward the center of the room.

It was a wall, made of water, Rinoa realized. It rippled suddenly, allowing her to see exactly where it was. She reached out a hand. Strange, her fingers felt warm. There was a shape beyond the wall. A face.

"Rinoa!" Alexandra suddenly screamed.

Rinoa tripped backwards trying to back up. It was a man's face. A body appeared beneath it. Legs, arms, feet.

The chamber grew lighter suddenly. Rinoa was not sure if her senses were heightened because of her terror or if by some unholy light, the room was lit by command. The man, in a superficial way, resembled Squall but that was all. His features were more harsh, less delicate. A few centuries of guarding the dead would probably do that to anyone, though. There was anger in his face, bitterness engraved by a famished desire for vengeance.

"So you're back, Hyne." He answered gravely as he stepped out from the doorway of water. Rinoa noticed that he had no problem crossing that wall whereas it burned her almost a second before. She inched backwards in horror.

"Do you remember me?" He asked spitefully. "Do you remember what you did to me?"

She did not reply. Trembling, she could not stop her knees from trembling. She began to rise to her feet, keeping her eyes on him, preparing for an attack.

"If you don't remember me." He said with a mocking curl of his lips. "Then perhaps you remember him."

Rinoa gasped as she saw Squall's form appear at the edge of the wall. He stood there coldly, firmly, just like himself.

"Squall!" She whimpered.

He was saying something, shouting it at the top of his lungs. She could not hear him, not anymore than one could hear the conversations fish hold in the sea.

"He can hear you but you cannot hear him. After all, Hyne, is it not the duty of the dead to watch the living?"

"What is it that you want Astrophel?" Rinoa asked narrowing her eyes. Her body betrayed her as it continued to tremble in terror.

"You didn't come here for him, did you Hyne?" Astrophel asked. "You came to find me. It is the truth you seek and only I can give you that. Not Draven and his blind idolism nor your muddled memories. Only I know you, Hyne. You did not come here to resurrect that boy. Perhaps a part of you is still clinging to Rinoa Heartilly but let's be honest with ourselves, Heartilly is weak and head strong. She would never have made it this far. None of them could have. They are all fools, young idealistic weak-minded fools."

"No Astrophel," Rinoa replied her tone growing in strength. "I am Rinoa Heartilly, the Hyne is but a force, she cannot be a person. Perhaps I have the memories of the embodiment of the Hyne in human bodies but I am not the Hyne herself. I am not guilty for what the Hyne has done. I am just a girl, you're mistaken. Humans change, Astrophel, maybe I used to be weak and headstrong but now I've changed but I have not changed into the Hyne."

Astrophel smiled in derision.

"You sicken me. Even after Draven knelt to you, you still would not believe that you are the Hyne? He is the Hyne's knight and he kneels to no one but the Great Hyne."

"Mistaken .. Draven was mistaken. I'm not .. I can't be."

"Mortals make mistakes but not the knights of the Hyne. That's what you still are, mortal. You have such powers at your disposal and yet you choose to remain mortal. Why?"

"I . .I'm" Rinoa felt the edge of her lip twitch. A tear peeped out of the corner of her eye and made its way down her eyelashes onto her cheek. She looked at him, at Squall and she knew why. "He .. he won't love me, if .. if I . . ."

"No!" Astrophel exclaimed in disbelief. He threw up his hands for a moment, in complete surprise and whole hearted disbelief. "You lie."

"Squall." Rinoa whispered in his direction. "I wish I could change this. I would give anything to change this."

"You dare to speak to him? You murdered his family, Hyne. How could you even contemplate his forgiveness?"

"I ask not for forgiveness." Rinoa begged. "I ask only for understanding. That's all I can ask for."

"Understanding?" Astrophel asked in rage. "Would you beg understanding from Raine Loire too? Tell a mother who lies crying for her husband on her death bed to understand that this was your game. Tell her that the cure for your momentary ennui was worth her month upon month of sorrow."

"How about your own mother?" Astrophel continued, pacing about in front of her. "You ordered the death of your own mother. It's a shame that she didn't suspect anything, that the moment she left for the fateful car - she even kissed you goodbye. What would General Caraway say if he knew? And all these years you blamed him for your grief. It's ironic, isn't it? And you are still able to see yourself as right despite all the wrong you've committed."

"I never . .expected .. " Rinoa began, stuttering.

"You never expected that these pitiful mortals had emotions as well. You were too ignorant, too delusional, too stupid to see what I saw."

"Astrophel!" Rinoa exclaimed. "You will not accuse me!"

"Ah, so the old rebuttal has not changed. Why are you so afraid of being accused, Hyne? Are you afraid that I am more worthy a god than you are?"

"Now, you have crossed your boundaries, Astrophel." Rinoa replied in a grave voice that surprised herself. "There is but one god. A flawed one yes, but only one."

"This ring," Astrophel began as he glanced at the silver band still around Rinoa's neck. "This was a hoax was it not? No mortal could come here, no one but yourself. You knew that from the beginning. It was useless for me to kill the members of the Loire family. This curse was but a lie. They never had a chance. Only you Hyne, only you could set me free from the beginning. Isn't it comedic how this all will end? You were the victim of your own curse!"

"I lied, that's true." Rinoa replied. "I lied to you because I did not trust you nor did I trust Draven. I looked down upon both of you. You were my pawns. That's the truth Astrophel. I never loved you."

Astrophel's face twisted in rage.

"But you love him? No, Hyne, Rinoa Heartilly, whoever you still think you are. You don't know what it means to love, not even now. You are playing a role, still playing a role. You envy what I had for Lenore. You envied all the emotions your stone heart could not feel. So you made yourself into Lenore. You made that boy - me. But it's still just a play. In the end, you will leave for your high heaven the second you are tired of this show."

"No!" Rinoa screamed. "That's not true! How would you know, Astrophel, what I am capable of?"

"Because you cannot create of your own accord. Tell me for the last few centuries what you've been searching for and never found? You cannot fall in love without following a mold. You are simply reenacting the love story you tore apart in your own jealousy."

"That's not true . ."Rinoa muttered to herself frantically. "That's not true."

"Squall Loire." Astrophel ordered as he turned to face the boy. "Look upon the face of your murderer. Look at her, pleading like an incoherent criminal. Will you believe me now? Can you still look upon her without disgust?"

"Squall," Rinoa pleaded but he did not answer her, with his lips or with body language. He simply took a step back in shock as someone else appeared at the edge of the wall.

Ultimecia.

"No," Rinoa implored again as she stared at the woman whose life she had destroyed. Ultimecia was not dressed in red, rather in white this time. It was a long flowing gown that made her appear so innocent, so harmlessly pure. However her smile, it still radiated insanity.

Squall recognized Ultimecia as well. However, he did not appear to be on the verge of attacking her. Maybe Astrophel was right and he finally saw the black from the white this time.

Astrophel grabbed Rinoa by her hair and pushed her closer to the wall. Rinoa grimaced in pain as she felt the heat on her cheek.

"Now it's my turn to curse you, Hyne. I sentence you to spent eternity searching for your way back to yourself. I sentence you to be apart from the boy you believe that you love. You have set me free Hyne. I will take Lenore with me and we will rule the world. After all, the old god is gone, never to return. You, you will continue spending cycle after cycle wandering the earth in mortal bodies unable to find your way back to your memories or to your power. And I will make sure you will never find it. I will be the god of this world and it will know a peace it never knew under you."

"What about Draven?" Rinoa asked making a final attempt to spite him. "He will stop you."

"Draven?!" Astrophel asked with a hearty laugh. Across the invisible wall, Ultimecia threw back her head and chuckled as well.

"Draven can't defeat me, Hyne. Draven can only follow orders, he cannot do anything without being told to. Reminds you of a certain flame of yours doesn't it?"

Rinoa cried out as Astrophel yanked her hair viciously.

"Stop it, father. Stop it now!"

Astrophel turned his head to see Alexandra standing with her arms folded over her chest.

"This is despicable. You are no knight. You are a demon."

"Alexandra." Astrophel commanded. "Watch me as I resurrect your mother. We will be together at last, Alexandra. The three of us."

Astrophel smiled at the frowning child.

"You'll understand one day, Alex. I'm doing this for you."

"No good can come of this, father. She is the Great Hyne!"

"Silence!" Astrophel screamed in rage. "I am the god now. She's just a ghoul on her way back to hell."

"Alexandra, it's no use." Rinoa implored for her to stop.

"Yes it's no use!" Astrophel cried out with insane glee as he thrust Rinoa into the wall. She shrieked in pain as the wall of fire burnt away her skin and bones. The agony stopped abruptly as it came as she fell into something soft. Rinoa opened her eyes which she had clenched shut when she came into contact with the fire. Squall. He was holding her. He had caught her.

He looked sad, so sad. She followed his eyes to the scene outside of the wall, the other side of the barrier where she had just been standing. There, Ultimecia stood with Astrophel.

Rinoa understood as she unsteadily got back onto her feet. As she passed through to the world of the dead, Ultimecia passed into the world of the living. So the old stories were correct. A life for a life. No doubt, Ultimecia had inherited her powers. The witch was three times as powerful as before. And Rinoa finally understood Astrophel's threat. Draven would be no match for Ultimecia now. The world as Rinoa had known it had passed away.

"Alexandra," Ultimecia hissed as she steadied herself in her lover's arms. She looked sickly, pale, from being dead for so long. For hanging onto death -for this moment.

Alexandra rubbed her eyes as she looked over the barrier and saw Rinoa at Squall's side. They were ghosts, shades, ghouls. What mattered was that they were no more. Not people anymore. Squall have given his life so that Rinoa could live. And now Rinoa was dead as well. There was no justice.

"Alexandra, forgot them." Ultimecia implored.

"Come, Alex." Astrophel said. "This is a day of joy for us not of grief. Will you desecrate this moment with your tears?"

"Yes father," Alexandra answered finally as she turned toward her family. "You and mother are finally together now. Although this day brings me sadness, it also brings me jubilation."

"Alex," Ultimecia said with a smile as she left Astrophel's arms and stumbled toward her daughter. "Let me hold you, Alexandra. I've missed you so."

With a polite expression on her face, Alexandra stepped up to her mother and hugged her coldly. She closed her eyes as she tucked her chin over her mother's shoulder.

"Mother?" Alexandra asked as she opened her eyes a slit and glanced at the side of Ultimecia's head.

"Yes my dear?" Ultimecia replied weakly as she withdrew from her daughter's embrace.

"I'm sorry, mother."

"What-" Ultimecia asked but she was not given time to finish her sentence.

Alexandra slammed herself into the witch and pushed her over the barrier. At that moment, Squall grabbed Rinoa and pulled her over - back onto the side of the living.

[Home]

[Chapter 11]

If He Should Return

Part 11

Rinoa rolled over onto her stomach. She saw Astrophel staring in a daze at the darkness where his wife and daughter had disappeared. She quickly scurried onto her feet, furiously glancing across the room for Squall who was nowhere to be seen. She did not want to be around when Astrophel broke out of his trance, unfortunately that happened all too soon.

"You!" Astrophel yelled, his face twisting beyond recognition. "This is your doing!"

Rinoa stumbled backwards.

"Your daughter turned against you, what could I possibly have had to do with that?" Rinoa asked, trying to buy herself time. She took another step back into the darkness, unfortunately, that was one step too many. Rinoa fell back. Her left foot was caught in a crack in the bedrock. She yanked at the injured limb trying to free herself. She was a desperate beast caught in a hunter's trap.

"I'll kill you myself." Astrophel said as he reached for her neck. "Even if it's too late for Lenore, I'll have your life."

"Astrophel!" Rinoa cried as she held her hands up in defense.

But Astrophel suddenly lost his posture. He slumped forward and collapsed on the ground in front of her.

Rinoa was unable to believe it. She took deep breathes trying to calm her fear. She notices suddenly that there was an object protruding from Astrophel's back. One of the sharp teeth like rock formations that emerged from the ground.

Astrophel rolled onto his side and saw Squall stepping into the light. The younger boy wore an indifferent look on his face as he glance down at Astrophel, writhing at his feet.

"You!" Astrophel whispered in disbelief. "But she murdered you! How could you .. Loire?"

Astrophel's eyes turned white and he began to dissolve. The wall it began to ripple. Rinoa knew that was going on. The king of the dead was gone. There was no more guardians. Her fears were being realized.

However, that was forgotten momentarily as she looked to her right and realized that Squall was beside her. He freed her leg with a swift tug.

"Why are you helping me?" Rinoa asked in surprise.

He glared at her as though her words were excessive and childish in this dire situation.

"Why wouldn't I?" He asked under his breath. He easily lifted her up, with one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling the solid weight of him in her arms.

"That way." She muttered gesturing to the entrance with her eyes. The rocks that had made her entry so difficult were tumbling down from their piles as the entire cavern began to shake. Agilely, Squall easily bore her out of the chamber.

"The tunnel on the left," Rinoa murmured as the memories flooded back to her. She held tight to him as they fled from the collapsing cave. Light light light, Rinoa prayed to herself, anxiously scanning the darkness all around them. It began as a pinpoint of yellow but Rinoa sighed in relief to herself. She was correct, this was the way. In a new comfort she buried her face in the leather of his jacket and awaited the sunlight. It came momentarily, as the two young adults broke from the darkness of the underground maze into the sandy desert of the Centra Ruins.

Squall allowed Rinoa back onto her own feet. He tried to steady her with his right arm but she insisted that she was fine and needed no such aid. He was not quick to bicker with her as he turned his eyes to the cavern which collapsed into a pile of rubble sending a cloud of brown dust into the air.

He turned to her, watching her limp with a slightly amused expression.

"I'm fine!" She insisted with her old humor as she brushed the dust out of her frock. For a moment everything he had seen in the cavern was very much like a bad dream, quick to flee and barely memorable. He reached out and took her by her waist like old times.

"Rinoa, there's something I've been meaning to say to you."

She nodded and peered sadly into his face with her large eyes.

"Yes?" She asked with apprehension. She stood rigidly in his arms almost as though she was afraid.

"I want to be with you."

She began to cry suddenly. She broke out of his arms and stumbled backwards.

"Squall .. " She whispered.

He frowned, as her reaction caught him on surprise.

"I'm fine." She said as she furiously wiped her eyes.

"You said that already." He muttered.

"Squall?!" Someone yelled from behind.

Squall turned to see Laguna glancing at them shyly from where he stood a few feet away. "Holy sh- is that really you?"

"Yes." Squall answered, unable to disguise his lingering uncomfortable emotions around that man.

"You're alive!" Laguna exclaimed.

Squall shrugged. "I guess I am."

"Son!" Laguna cried in glee, unable to disguise his burst of joy. He embraced the frozen figure and was curious when the boy did not melt into his embrace.

"You're still mad at me?" Laguna asked as his expression turned into a frown. "Still?"

"No." Squall quickly answered, trying to placate the man. "No of course not."

"Good!" Laguna said as he patted Squall's shoulder firmly. "I'm just so glad you are all right. I'm tearing up. Where's Rinoa?"

"What?" Squall asked as he glanced at the spot where Rinoa was standing. Laguna was correct. She was gone.

"She was just there." Laguna began but Squall had already turned and rushed into the forest after her. He found her a moment later, at the edge of a cliff, overlooking the collapsed cavern. She was standing there, a lone figure at the end of the rocky precipice.

"It's not safe for you here, Squall." She mumbled as he came closer. "You should go home."

He paused and observed her for a moment without saying a word. He understood from the silence that the things between them could not be the same again. What happened in the cavern was not a nightmare. And even if he did not want to remember what had been said in there, she could not forget.

"I'll leave you, Rinoa, when you know how to find your way home."

She smiled suddenly. It was an instinctual jerk. She looked at him and grinned through her sorrow.

"Do you know how much I want to be with you?"

"I know." He answered uneasily. "Because I want the same, just as badly as you do. But this can't be, can it, Hyne?"

"Don't." She pleaded. "Don't call me that."

"But that's who you are."

"I am Rinoa!"

"And I care for you, whether you are Rinoa or the Hyne."

"Squall." She begged. "Please."

"I know." He answered as he looked down at his feet as though they were fascinating.

"Squall." Rinoa began. "I am a witch, a curse, a ghoul. I don't deserve your love and no matter how willing you are to give it to me, you can't. I won't take it. I won't take your mercy, your forgiveness or your friendship. I won't take anymore from you, because I've already taken too much." "Then will you give me your affection? You stole my parents from me but now all I ask is that you repay that debt by giving yourself to me." "You are so young, Squall, I can't ask you to die for me, not when I just through all that trouble of resurrecting you." "I never asked to be resurrected." "I know." She answered as the memory of that night came into her mind once more. What had he said? I will never leave you again, in life or in death, never again.

But what if I left you, Squall? What if I became a murderer, a beast and a god? Would you follow me forever, to all the places the living cannot tread?

"To stay with me, you would have to die." Rinoa answered sadly. "You would have to be my knight forevermore. I can grant you immortality but I can't grant you life. Don't die for me a second time. It's wonderful to be human, Squall. You don't know how I envy you."

"That's garbage." He replied. "What is the worth of being human if I can't appreciate it? What is the worth of being alive if I have nothing to live for? You should have left me dead. You were kind enough to give me an excuse to end my miserable existence in Deling that night but now you are cruel enough to bring me back? You owe me for me more than simply that childish curse. You owe me for this uncalled for resurrection. Kill me, it's the least you can do for me." "But Laguna and Raine. All of them. You need to think about this Squall. Take eighty years to decide. I will come back to you then. Tell me then that you still love me. You think the recent revelations can be brushed aside but they can't! I murdered them all."

"You murdered no one and neither did Astrophel or Draven. Draven lured Laguna from Winhill because he knew that Raine was about to die. Laguna allowed himself to be lured, that was his own weakness and his own mistake. Tell me how different the past would have been had Laguna reminded in Winhill to watch Raine die? And so Laguna, with the knowledge of Raine's death would attempt to bring her back, but he would have died, true? Then I would have been an orphan on all accounts. You didn't murder my mother, Rinoa, you saved my father." "Luck. I was lucky this time. You need to look further into the past. Look at the grand scheme of things." "The grand scheme of things matters for nothing. You made a mistake. We are responsible for our actions but not for the fruits of them. Rinoa, if our love is identical in every form why is it doomed to remain forever parallel?"

"Goodbye Squall." Rinoa replied as she turned and dissolved into the wind. He was there alone on the cliff, standing alone, forever alone. Alexandra was dead and when the manipulator of the stars had changed. The Hyne and Rinoa were but one and things had gotten far more complicated. But Squall realized as he stood there that it did not matter. The roles changed but the story stayed the same, always stayed the same.

Laguna was amazed when he saw Squall return to the helicopter without Rinoa.

"What happened?" Laguna called out as his son appeared within hearing distance. "You couldn't find her?" The older man suggested. Catching Squall's arm, Laguna forced the boy to face him. "Listen Squall, you go back there and get her. We're not going to leave without the kid."

Squall looked vaguely amused for a moment and the sour expression left his face. He glanced back at the forest and returned his eyes to Laguna.

"She left, Laguna. There is nothing left for me to find."

"How?" Laguna asked with a puzzled expression coloring his face. Squall sighed wearily and climbed into the helicopter. Laguna reluctantly followed and motioned for the pilot to take off. In the background he could hear the grind sound of the shifting boulders. However, he ignored it as he turned to his child again. There was a chilly atmosphere in the air as the two sat down to the sight of the setting sun. Breaking the silence, Laguna began to speak in his old joyful manner.

"What is it Squall? Is there something you're not telling me?" For a moment, or maybe it was Laguna's imagination, Squall's mouth almost seemed to curl up in a smile.

"Remember that day on the bluffs?" Squall asked. "You asked me if we could have a talk one day, longer than the one we had then."

"Yes." Laguna said nodding eagerly. "You were so eager to get away, to go back to Rinoa." "Well, I have a lot on my mind now. Why don't we have that talk here?" "Now?"

Laguna asked in surprise. "I don't even know where to begin."

"I'll begin." Squall replied turning his eyes away from the window and onto the aging president of Esthar.

"I would like to begin, if that's alright with you, father."

Fin.

Author’s Note:

To those of you who finished this story thank you.. I spent the entire summer of 2000 writing this story. While I was on vacation I kept working on it 6 hours a day. I gave up spending time with my family, with my friends with my relatives to write this story. On the day of my graduation from high school, I rushed home afterwards just to get a few paragraphs. The sacrifices I made to put this tale into writing is inmeasurable. Now I must ask one favor of you. It does not matter if you loved this story or hated this story. Even if you thought this story was the worst crock of crap ever written, for humanity’s sake please return to me just a tiny degree of what I have given of myself to you.

Do NOT search for sequels to this story written by other authors. I do not GRANT ANYONE permission to write a sequel to this story.

Those who have written sequels to this story stole my original characters and twisted them into something which is completely and absolutely different from what I spent MONTHS to perfect. This is the internet I cannot claim legal ownership of my work and I am helpless to enforce the laws that give copyright to the creator of a work. So if you have any degree of appreciation for me as writer even if it so small it could fit into a teaspoon then grant me this one single request. If you do, I would know that I have not spent two years writing in vain. If you want me to keep writing then please let me know that I have your support by boycotting those who steal the hard work of other authors.

From my heart,

Let me offer you my sincerest gratitude.

Let this be the end of the Orphan series.